All couples get into a rut from time to time. Many of the mysteries have been solved and either, or both, of you have been complacent in your marriage. Marriage is like a garden. It needs to be given attention, sun, water. A lot goes in to creating a successful garden and you have to maintain it in order for it to continue thriving. When you feel you’ve slid into a rut, try out these tips for reviving the romance.
1. Roleplaying. Don’t afraid to do something different. That’s the pitfall of many relationships in a rut – people don’t want to get out of their comfort zone. If you had to eat vanilla ice cream the rest of your life, you’d get bored too. If you always liked the look of cowboys, ask your spouse to dress up for you, or dress up for them. You might find you enjoy playing out the boss-secretary fantasy, or the schoolgirl-principal fantasy. Be creative and experiement. Figure out what you’d enjoy. Remember, you are with someone you trust completely, your husband/wife. He is not going to think you are a weird pervert if you dress up as Pocahontas for him. In fact, I guarantee that he’ll be quite enticed at your getup.
2. Take roleplaying a step farther. If you are not interested in what some call ‘cliche’ or ‘cheesy’ roleplaying, why not go out on a date with your spouse – as a different person. Create an alter ego for yourself, dress differently than you normally would. If it helps you feel more into “character”, try a wig, fall, or hairpiece. Meet him at the bar or restaurant, so that he might not recognize you when you come in. If he’s game, have him come up with a persona for himself – neither of you know this “stranger” and so, with a general background of your “character”, neither one of you is going to know what the other one is bound to say. It eliminates the predictibility of relationships. You know all about that person…but you don’t know about this person. Encourage your husband (and yourself) to allow yourself to be more free in your alter ego. It’s not you, in a way, so you can be more daring with your flirting, etc.
3. Do a striptease. Set up a chair in your bedroom, some music to dance to, and wear something a stripper would. I recommend ‘Pump Up the Volume’ by MARRS for music. When you pick something to wear, find something that flatters you and makes you feel sexy. If you have a nice chest, but a stomach you’d like to supress, try a corset.
4. Do something romantic for no reason other than you love your spouse. Surprise them with a love letter from you (handwritten) and a rose in their car. I assure you, it will make their day to go to their car after a long day at work and find your surprise. You could even include a few “love coupons” for them to use at their discretion, such as “One backrub” or “A night under the stars”.
5. Leave a note on the bathroom mirror, the computer – anywhere, basically – for your spouse to find. Everyone likes to know that they’re being thought about and it’ll boost their day just knowing that you took the time.
6. Do something thoughtful, whether its buying them something you know they wanted, or taking out the trash, or washing their hair in the shower. The little things really do count.
7. Leave a trail of rose petals leading toward the bedroom. They will get the hint to follow. Have silk sheets on the bed and champagne or wine cooling on the nightstand. Tell them what you love about them.
8. Try to avoid doing the dinner-and-a-movie date. Go to a carnival. Have fun with them. Many rides will give you opportunities to break the touch barrier and have a enjoyable, intimate time with your spouse. Pick date ideas that are fun, different, and not typical. Go-carts is recommended, too.
9. Make them a candlelight dinner with their favorite meal. It goes along way to remind your partner that you care.
10. Kiss your spouse as if they are going off to war. Many of can fall into the trip of giving quick pecks on the lips before scurrying off to work. Take the time to show them you are still very much in love with them, and very much attracted to them.