I’m sure we all remember the day we heard about Britney Spears tying the knot with Kevin Federline. I’m sure that there was a collective groan heard ’round the planet regarding the pop star’s decision to wed a man with ..well …possibly less than stellar motives.
1. Be wiser and more thoughtful in your romantic relationship choices.
Britney, it’s a shame that someone as young as you now has two failed marriages under your belt. This obviously speaks volumes about your personal lack of maturity as a person.
Most people assume that somebody who presents herself in a very sensuous, sexually-suggestive manner in her performances must be fully adult, but your decisions only indicate that you are merely a child in a woman’s body.
A big warning sign regarding your soon-to-be-ex-husband, was his quickness, at the onset of his so-called “courtship”, to dump his then girlfriend. This woman was the mother of one of his children and pregnant with another.
A man who would so easily break faith with somebody he claimed to love, should have made all of your bells and whistles go off, because it exemplifies the kind of character he has.
The fact that Kevin Federline was so eager to grab the coattails of your fame- accepting extravagant gifts from you, trying to build his own personal career via your influence- were all things that screamed, “I’m basically into this thing because of what I can get out of it personally.” His penchant for excessive partying and casual drug use was also a huge clue that this guy was a self-absorbed narcissist.
I know, he’s the father of your kids, but fatherhood is not proof of being a real man, just proof of a male with sperm that “took”..
This marriage was as doomed to fail, as your first “quickie” one.
This year, Britney, you should definitely avoid marching down any aisles unless you are accepting an award, because she are incapable of making a stable choice regarding marriage at this point in your life..
Now that you have the responsibility of being a mom, you need to be extremely careful what man you let into her life.
2. You need to take time to find out who you really are.
It seems to me that you have always had some label attached to you. You have been daughter, performer, superstar, wife, mother, but none of those titles seems to have given you anything more than a strictly superficial level of success.
You have allowed yourself to be defined by other people so much of your life that you don’t have a real sense of who you are as a person.
This new year, you needs to spend time doing some self-examination, even consider getting some good advice from a counselor who will tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear.
If you get to know your strengths and weaknesses and learns how to stand up on your own, without needing to constantly be validated by sycophants and hangers-on, you will be a much better person, a much wiser mother to your children and even a better performer.
3. You need to improve your parenting skills.
All new parents make occasional boo-boo’s, but when you do things like holding your child in your lap, as you drive a car, it borders on being irresponsible.
Britney, I don’t believe that you would ever intentionally harm your children, but it only takes one moment of carelessness to result in a tragedy.
There are “average” folks who take parenting classes to improve skills and many celebrity parents should take them, too, from the looks of things.
Hiring a responsible nanny might help some for when you are away in the capacity of your profession, but that person can never replace you and should not be seen by you as an easy way to avoid personal responsibility.
I suggest that you connect with an expert in child rearing and ask his or her advice. With your bankroll, you could probably convince somebody to come to your home and offer on-site help.
4. Re-invent yourself.
The reason Madonna has maintained her stardom is that she is constantly re-inventing herself. While many of her much younger counterparts fade out of a sight after a few years of fame, Madonna is still around and still garnering attention.
Although your personal life has been in the spotlight since your marriage and subsequent motherhood, your career has been at a virtual standstill. Now that your marriage is ending, you will probably look forward to resurrecting your career.
You are a different person, experience-wise, than in your premarital days, however, so now is a good chance for you to try some new things, creatively.
The thing you should learn from Madonna is that it’s beneficial to learn how to adapt to the latest trends in music and society. Madonna is smart enough to realize that, even though she is still in top physical shape, she’s no spring chicken. What keeps her head-and-shoulders above these younger female artists is that she has her own unique style..
You need to develop some of that style and re-enter the music industry with something fresh, not continuing to copy the same “blond-girls-that-sing-and-shake-their-booties” mode of your peers.
5. Be a better role model.
Brits, girl, whether you want to be or not, you are a role model.
Over the course of your brief career, you have had the power to affect lots of impressionable young girls. They have been fascinated by you, which means they have been easily persuaded into trying to emulate you.
At least, that was the case before you became a wife and mother. Now your status may have changed in their sight, because they can’t identify with you in the same way. Most of your fan base has been girls who haven’t experienced marriage or childbirth yet. Once, they saw you as “one of them”, but …
That was two divorces and two babies ago.
Now, you have a chance to be a positive role model to them, be someone they can look up to. From a more “grownup” perspective, you can demonstrate to young women that they don’t need to get drunk or smoke cigarettes or sleep around to feel valuable. You can teach them that they can aspire to higher things than just being some air-headed sex toy.
You have weathered some hard storms, Britney, so why not give kids who look up to you the benefit of your experience?
Remember, most of all, that you are a role model to your own children now, so be conscious that they, too, are liable to follow your lead.
6. Expand your intellectual horizons.
The dumb blonde image may bolster your current show biz image, but the reality is that you are not always going to be youthful and the chances are, given how fickle the public is, you are not likely to be as sought after in the years to come.
Start right now to do some things to empower yourself intellectually. Maybe if you stayed home and read a few books instead of going out and partying, you would not end up making ditzy decisions.
Learn something about current events, history, art, literature, music outside your own limited genre, such as classical and jazz.
Get beyond your own narrow little universe so that, if your career folds someday, you will still manage to have a well-rounded, meaningful life.
7. Get some real friends.
I’m talking about getting some genuine friends, not the kind who use you or pretend to be your friends and then go behind your back to sell info on your personal life to scandal rags.
Don’t look for those who overindulge your self-preoccupation and flatter you non-stop, but find some people who will love you enough to tell you when you;re wrong about something.
In the industry you are involved in, it’s difficult, if not impossible, to find any folks you can trust, but, if you try hard enough and reach out to those in the entertainment community who are older, wiser and more stable, you might be able to connect to people who sincerely care about your well-being.
Meanwhile, unload the “driftwood” from your personal life and rid yourself of individuals who are bringing you down.
8. Explore the spiritual side of your existence.
There is a deeper side to life, Britney.
It may not be “cool” among your crowd, but finding a spiritual center to your life can help you evolve beyond the vacuous, pretentious world you seem to occupy at this time.
There’s little press about this, but there are many celebrities in Hollywood who attend church or meet in small prayer groups, where you won’t need to worry about your celebrity being a distraction, since they are used to famous people being in their midst.
9. Be accountable.
It’s easy for you to blame others for your lapses of good judgment, such as the times you blamed the paparazzi for making you drive off hurriedly in your car with your baby in your lap.
While the paparazzi certainly do follow you every step of the way, I don’t think that even the most jaded among them would want to cause a child to be harmed, so your response to their trying to take pictures of you and your baby was unwise. Not only did you play into their hands by acting irresponsibly, but your immature actions may have injured, even killed your litle one.
You’re not a kid anymore. You are an adult and parent who needs to be accountable for the things you do.
When you make negative choices, you need to admit it and then make the determination not to keep on repeating the same kind of mistakes.
10. Set some goals for your life.
Club hopping at all hours of the night may be fun to you right now, but if you continue at this pace, you will end up burning out and wasting the rest of your life.
Set some goals for yourself in 2007, as a parent, as a woman, as a performer, then spend time figuring out how to make those goals come to fruition.
All of us need to feel a sense of achievement, but achieving anything takes careful preparation, patience and fortitude.
Remember that tried and true cliche: “Those who fail to plan, plan to fail”.