10. Get a Swear Jar-
25 cents for your average infraction, like an s-word an f-word. The whole check book for anything racially insensitive. This is 2006, you know. Most areas now practice the no-tolerance rule when it comes to the really nasty words.
9. Lose a Little Weight-
Emotionally, not physically, of course. The same issues and zaniness that made him a riot on Seinfield and a master of physical comedy appear to have festered over the years and taken their toll on him. Get your problems straightened out and stop using them as a crutch.
8. Make a Sitcom with Some Black Co-Stars-
I don’t know if many people have noticed, but there aren’t too many black sitcoms on the tube these days. Why not use your big-name status to reach out and help someone else get their big break while helping bridge the public relations gap you’ve just created? Actually, Michael Richards isn’t a big name, or at least wasn’t until this whole incident went down. Maybe you could reprise your role as Kramer and make a Seinfeld spin-off, this time with actual black characters in it. Maybe that was part of the problem in the first place.
7. Spend More Time with the Family-
Take a year off and re-discover what it was like to be Michael Richards before everyone knew you as Kramer. It’s must have been tough being down and fading away after so much success on Seinfeld and the flop that was The Michael Richards Show. But take a step back and be yourself and eventually some better ideas will come.
6. Adopt a Kid-
Hey, every celebrity is doing it these days. Richards might as well adopt from Africa to go ahead and rack up some more public relations points. It’s going to take a lot for African-Americans to ever trust Michael Richards again.
5. Refine Your Comedy Act-
We’ve seen tons of washed up celebrities try and transition to a shocking, vulgar act and fail, such as Screech (Dustin Diamond) from Saved by the Bell and Bob Saget. Michael Richards will always be known as Kramer and it will be tough to shy away from that, but there’s always room for improvement and creativity.
4. Get Some Fresh Air-
Move away from the madness of Hollywood for a little while. Buy a ranch in Montana or something so you can rest up and recuperate away from the firestorm for a few months.
3. Spend More Time with your Friends-
Reunite with Jerry, Elaine, George and the rest. Things haven’t quite been the same since you left them.
2. Star in a Junior Mints Commercial-
At this point, this might be the only option for Michael Richards. And that money might come in handy a few years down the line he’ll really need the money.
1. Branch out and get to Know Some New People-
Make friends with people from different cultures and open yourself up to new experiences. Who knows, you just might like it.