Marriage is supposed to be a holy sacrament between two people. These two people are with each other out of love and promise to honor and cherish one another through good and bad times. What happens when your vows include a third person? That’s right, in alot of marriages, women are not only committing to their partner, but also to their partners mother. In some cases, having the third wheel is not that bad. In fact, you may just get lucky and have the type of mother-in-law who sticks up for your rights, as a woman. Unfortunately, many women gain a mother in law that “you swear” was featured in the last horror film you attended. The warning signs were probably there before your actual ceremony, however, you felt that everything would get better and mom will just give up after the marriage. Sadly, things tend to get worse! With many ways to determine if you are gaining a monster-in-law, I have listed five of my favorite indicators.
#1 monster-in-law act
On several occasions, do you often enjoy watching Dr. Phil episodes on family mal-functions? You love the drama, and actually laugh histerically at the tube, while watching the crazy mother-in-law who stalks her son from the window, waiting for him to awake. Wait a minute…your laughter then turns to tears. You are so caught up in Dr. Phil’s show when you finally realize that you would be a perfect candidate to be the next story headline. You heard it right, ladies. It’s not that you shouldn’t condone a loving relationship between your monster, oops I mean mother-in-law, but when she is pounding on your door begging her son to come out and play before he even awakes, you can assume that you are in a lifetime of misery. It even gets worse when she does not invite you to play along.
#2 monster-in-law act
Ok, despite the fact that your husband moved out of his parents house over a year ago, he still receives some mail at the house. Although you repeatedly have urged the monster to return the mail, she often finds excuses to why she failed to do so. When your husband finally makes several trips, upon request from mother dearest, to pick up the mail, you notice that everything has been opened and secretly glued back together. When you finally get all of your mail, your husband starts questioning you about bills and bank statements. Sure you spent an extra few dollars, but you know that your husband would have never caught on nor looked at your statements. Could it be another cruel plot stirred up by her? Chances are, she won again!
#3 monster-in-law act
It’s dinner time at the in-laws again. Being a full time vegatarian, you can’t wait to have a nice salad with some fresh veggies and maybe some home-made mashed potatos. While sitting down at the table, you notice that everything, including the salads and vegetables have some sort of meat in it. Confused, you sit patiently waiting for other offerings. As your getting giddy off of the glass of cheap wine that she poured for you, and only you, you find yourself envious of all the champagne drinkers at the table. To mother’s defense, you only like red wine, however, the cost of the bottle provided was a fraction of the aged champagne the rest of the guests were drinking. Without a word through dinner, to you at least, your mother-in-law finally asks you why your not eating. She then offers you Mcdonald’s leftovers. If it couldn’t get any worse, she announces that skipping a meal may be a good way for you to lose a few pounds. If you have experienced a similiar situation, get out while you can!
#4 monster-in-law act
On a more serious note, if your husband fails to see your mother-in-laws tactics to rid you from his life, it is safe to say that you are not the main person he is married to. Whether he keeps quiet out of fear or respect, Mrs. Monster has so much control over him and your relationship, that it will probably never change. Forty years down the road, you may find your husband attending local bingo five times a week with mommy, instead of visiting you in the nursing home his mother arranged for. If he does not speak up when things are new and exciting, he probably will fail to recognize you are his main priority when you two actually know each other, wholey. Oh, and for the record, it seems like they will live forever!
#5 monster-in-law act
Do you find yourself angered everytime you around this woman? Have you realized that she wants nothing to do with her grandchildren unless it is when they are an excuse for him to bring over for a visit? Has she threatened you behind your husband’s back and often started rumors with your community about you, as a person? Does she often cry to your husband, her son, about the aweful way you “supposingly” treat her? Lastly, would she be happier seeing her son miserable without you, just so she can pick up the pieces and make herself the number one priority? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions then give her what she wants…her son. You will be much happier living without him than with living with him and his aweful monster-in-law!