Today was our last home study to become foster to adopt parents. We were very excited to see this day come.
The social worker came early. I would have said she was excited, as well. But that wasn’t the case. She had two cancellations. Oh, well. We were excited.
Today, she did the safety inspection of our home. I have to say she didn’t look as closely to it as I would have imagined she would have. From the papers we were given during our classes, I thought the safety inspection would be much thorough.
There are many things in the homes that need to be addressed before a person should become any type of parent, regardless as to whether you are going to be a natural parent, a foster parent, an adoptive parent or whatever. First, is the chemicals in the homes. Chemicals such as cleaning products should be out of sight and out of reach of children. Electrical outlets that are unused should be covered. The window in the child’s room should be able to open and close or there should be another form of fresh ventilation. There should be a working fire extinguisher in the kitchen of the home. There should smoke detectors in the home. Things like these should be addressed before a child is placed in a home.
Of course, we haven’t gotten our ID number from the State and we haven’t found a child in which to adopt, the agency may recheck our house at the time. (I actually hope they do).
Of course, we answered more questions today. I liked these questions. These questions pertained to the child we would like to parent.
First, we were asked general questions, what age of child or children would we consider adopting or fostering. What race or races? Then it went on to describe children with different backgrounds, different medical and emotional needs, etc. But the questions did not stop there.
Would we consider adopting a child with a criminal past, to what extent? That question went on to ask would we consider fostering a child who had been convicted of such horrible things such as rape, murder, assault, scary things to even think a child could commit.
Then we were asked about the parents of the child. Would we consider parents who were mentally retarded, drug abusers, alcohol abusers, and who suffered from different diseases such as AIDS?
I liked these questions because it gave the social worker more of an idea of what type of child we wanted. But some of them were hard to answer.
It was easy to say yes we wanted a child who was considered above average in school, who was pleasant natured, who followed the rules, etc. Then it was harder when the questions turned to the negative. Would you consider a child who was disobedient, who threw tantrums on a mild, moderate or severe scale?
Deep down you realize the children in foster care are abused or neglected children. They will have some problems. But how many problems can you deal with as a parent?
Like I told the social worker, it is hard to answer these questions when I don’t know the child, when I have not formed any bond, yet, when the questions are so generalized, yet so in depth.
But we answered the questions the best we could. Now we are finished.
What is next many people have asked? Our references fill out their forms. Everything is sent into the state (which can take from 14 to 45 days we have been told). State looks over everything. Then more than likely we are assigned a number and a license.
This number and license means we can legally adopt a child through the Foster Care system. We get to see more of the children through the Ohio website which is now off limits to us (you don’t get access without that number, I suppose or whatever password they give us).
Then the social worker tries to find a child who will match up with us. Then they have what is called a match meeting. Usually, at least 3 families are considered for each child. Out of these three someone has the responsibility of deciding which family will match up with the child the best.
How many match up meetings will we attend until we find our perfect match? How many months will this take? We don’t know.
But we are getting closer. And we honestly believe that there is a child out there or there will be a child who needs us and who we need. When the time is right, the three of us will come together.
Stay tune to our continued saga.