“Don’t want to be an American Idiot” are the words that begin the hit song by the same name from the group Green Day. A great song with a good sound and even better message, it has been inspiring me to think. What does it mean to be an American Idiot? And why are there so many of them? Well, I have decided to explore further. I will be focusing on a few idiots at a time, highlighting their special traits that define them as a true American Idiot. Hopefully, I can inspire some potential idiots to a greater path of knowledge and acceptance. Or, at least have some laughs!
What inspired me to start this series was a news story I saw on CNN International. I was recently overseas, and watching the news before bed in a hotel room near Munich, Germany. Some of the wonderful citizens of the apparently idyllic town of Katy, Texas were representing themselves beautifully on the world stage. It was January 7th, and this was the first time I had heard of the story.
So without further adieu, I am pleased to announce the first winner(s) of the newly created “George Bush Honorary American Idiot Award” are some of the fine citizens of Katy, Texas. Apparently, some of the Goobers of this perceived Mayberry are alarmed that there will be an Islamic Mosque. And there it was for all the world to see, on CNN International. Great way to represent, people.
For those who haven’t heard, the furor began when the Katy Islamic Association purchased an 11 acre plot of land and disclosed this past September that they plan to build on the site. An October meeting drew about 300 local residents who voiced various concerns about why they opposed the mosque. When the leaders of the KIA asked neighbor Craig Baker to remove his cows from the land they had purchased, what was reported to have begun as a cordial relationship turned ugly. And now Mr. Baker has decided to make good on his threat to hold Friday night pig races on his land next to where the mosque is to be built. Obviously, the idea was to offend Muslims, who don’t eat pork and who hold Friday as a holy day. Apparently, it hasn’t had the desired result with the KIA, who are saying that for the most part, they are not offended. Perhaps it didn’t occur to the erstwhile Mr. Baker that Muslims don’t hate pigs, they just don’t eat them. And to show the world that he isn’t the only bigoted lug-head in Katy, about 100 people showed up for the first race, even though it was pouring rain.
The story being ran on CNN International also featured some other residents. There was one woman who expressed concerns that the mosque would bring a terrorist element to their little “slice of heaven” as she called it, making it a worse place to live. Frankly, the representatives of Katy that I saw made it obvious that it already is a pretty bad place to live. There was another woman who struck me as the very representation of uptight suburbanite. The type that thinks the biggest problems in the world involve her lawn and the church socials.
As I have never been to Katy (mercifully) I can only presume, but I would be willing to bet that there several of those “God loves us ’cause we hate fags and liberals” super-churches in the area. I wonder how they would respond if a neighbor were to hold Sunday morning “cross burnin’ barbecues” or the like. Actually, the game I would like to see would be called “stump the redneck” where a t.v. remote, a beer, and a tin of chew would be hidden around the area. A few of the pillars of Katy could race to find all the items before time expired and they were forced to give 25.00 to the ACLU.
Of course, I am sure there are good people in Katy. They should be ashamed of their neighbors. can you imagine how this looks to most of the rest of the world? Congratulations to Craig Baker and some of the other citizens of Katy, Texas. Co-winners!