Well, with way too much time on my hands on a Saturday morning, I came up with a lovely little scheme. I was ever so innocently surfing the net, for optical illusions, I found this awesome site that has what appears to be a sign in front of a church that you can customize!
Oh did this ever get my wheels turning! Remember when those two ding-bats, Paris and Nicole took it upon themselves in an episode of “The Simple Life” . to rearrange the letters on the fast food restaurant? I admit that was pretty funny, Or I am easily amused. However, had I been given the chance, I would have used that opportunity to my full benefit. Then again they had a whole T.V show to captivate us with their antics, we only have the net.
This brings me to my ever so devious scheme for April Fools…
My parents have always disapproved of my choice in men. Yes there have been some ‘winners’ I hooked up with, but I for the most part have pretty good judgment. This does not stop them from being overprotective, and offering their advice, when they have not been asked for their opinion. You get my point. So I plan to give them a little shock this April Fools. Teach them a little lesson.
Here is how it’s going to go down:
Step 1: Email (The more traditional approach.)
“Dear Mom and Dad,
I am sorry I have not called this week. It has been a crazy week! Remember how I told you I was accompanying my friend Donna to that Narc anon meeting for her report, because she didn’t want to go alone? The one at the church? Well we went, and the most unbelievable thing happened! While I was there, I met this wonderful man named Billy, and well, he just swept me off my feet! He is a race car driver, but he lost his license, it’s kind of a long story….but he will find work soon. In the meantime, he is a janitor, off the books ya know? (Sorry If I scared you, he wasn’t actually at the Narc anon meeting!) (YOU ADD THIS TO CATCH THEM OFF GUARD!) I know this is going to come as quite a shock, but after spending a few days together, we realized that we were happier than we have ever been! So the church where he works said they would marry us! It was so spur of the moment! They handled all the paperwork, and they were so nice, they even put our names outside on the billboard! I attached the picture of that. I will call you later, I can’t wait until you get to meet him and his kids!
Love,
Your Daughter,
Joyann ‘Cooter’ “
Ah priceless. This is a rough draft mind you. I may decide to meet a lesbian at a craft fair, or a biker in the grocery store. Who knows? The possibilities are endless. You can change this to suit your family’s’ specific hang-ups.
Another variation would be utilizing your Myspace.com page. While I am at it, I may just go full force and freak out my friends list. I am considering sending out a bulletin, photo included. I could even pimp out my page and do a whole vegas wedding type theme! Fun Fun Fun!
The site you need to visit is Says-it.com, it is totally free. You type in whatever you want on the ‘blank’ church sign. There are five different denominations to choose from, so show a little respect to your particular faith people! If your family is Catholic, you don’t want to go cross over to Pentecostal, and totally freak them out! Or do you? Muhahaha.
For added authenticity, you can recruit a friend they never met before to pose for “wedding” photos with you. You could be celebrating inexpensively at Burger King while holding a phony marriage license and showing off your ring! You could go all out for the occasion, have a few friends meet you to “celebrate” at Home Town Buffet while you are posing in front of the salad bar wearing your veil! Just make sure they know what you are doing or your parents may be at your apartment before you even upload your pictures and hit send. What could be more spur of the moment than that? Make sure you make it look real!
