My votes for some of the best ever Saturday Night Live skits involve the timeless and talented actor, Christopher Walken.
My very favorite is a Saturday Night Live skit called “Connie Stinson Talks,” in which Christopher Walken plays a Jerry Springer-type television talk show host. The day’s topic sounds simple enough. Connie Stinson is about to talk with men who are considering dumping their wives or girlfriends because they have gained weight.
The first guest comes out and admits that, yes, when he first met his woman, she was a little overweight.
“She was FAT!” Christopher Walken yells. “But she got fatter. And you said, ‘Uh-uh, no way. Hasta la vista, fat hog!’ Right?”
The guests are all clearly startled by Walken’s approach. They simply wanted their wives or girlfriends to lose a little weight, to care more about their appearances.
But Walken is relentless. “You wanted the fat hog to lose weight, and one way to achieve this would be to sew the fat hog’s mouth shut. Is that what you thought?”
“Good God, no!” says one of the guests. “I just thought she should limit her intake of sugars, or something.”
When the wives and girlfriends take the stage, Christopher Walken attributes these terrible insults to the men. “Jodie says you’re a fat hog!”
The women protest, arguing that they are content with their appearances and their men should be, too.
Walken responds, “Go girl! You’re saying, ‘I may be a huge, steaming hunk of fat hog, but that’s me. Take it or leave it, buddy!”
Another classic Saturday Night Live skit featuring Christopher Walken is the one that gave rise to the saying, “More cowbell.”
The Saturday Night Live skit is a parody of VH1’s Behind the Music, and it is a scene that is purported to be from the recording session of Blue Oyster Cult’s “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper.” Christopher Walken plays producer Bruce Dickinson.
Will Ferrell plays band member Gene Frenkle. And Gene Frenkle’s job is to play the cowbell. During the recording Will Ferrell becomes a little too overzealous with the cowbell. Christopher Walken storms back into the studio. While the band is sure Walken is going to admonish Ferrell, he instead admonishes the band, saying the recording needs even more cowbell!
“You gotta have that cowbell!” Walken assures them.
He goes on to tell Will Ferrell to “really explore the space” of the studio. And Ferrell obliges, his paunchy midriff showing as he raises the cowbell over his head and plays.
The first time I heard the song on the radio after seeing the Saturday Night Live skit with Christopher Walken, I nearly fell over laughing. And I was doing seventy on the Garden State Parkway at the time.