They are the invisible moms.
May 2, 2001
“Sometimes I think I might cause you unnecessary pain by telling you things about MacKenzie, i.e.; her first tooth,” Veronica wrote. “It’s just such a delicate balance. I want to tell you as much as you want to know, yet I don’t want to make things harder for you. I’ve thought about calling Susan or Beth (her girlfriend) to just ask them their advice as I don’t ever want to unknowingly or knowingly hurt you. Sometimes I think it might be easier for you to not hear from me as much but I really enjoy communicating with you and sharing ï¿½our’ daughter. Please, please feel free to tell me any time if you need a break, or need less or more information. Really!
I’m really glad our pastor will be here (since he’s moving out of state) for the Mother’s Day Dedication Ceremony for all the children birth to four years old (at our church) since he was there with MacKenzie at Placement.”
Birth Mothers’ Day was the day before Mother’s Day and some places actually held ceremonies. Adoptees have two “real” mothers some said and a multitude of ways to honor them. It was a day to honor and remember the motherhood experience of birth mothers that lost or placed their children in adoption. It was held on the second Saturday in May and observed with a public ceremony.
It was created in 1990 by a group of Seattle, Washington birth moms who met each other at a birth parent support group. It grew out of the shared recognition that Mother’s Day is one of the most painful days of the year – second only to the birthday of their children. Yet birth mothers have been shut out of the traditional celebration and remembrances of the holiday. Most birth mothers are neither named nor recognized among the mothers in their midst. For most birth mothers there are no cards or flowers. Society treats the motherhood of the birth mother as a momentary event that fades quickly from the collective memory. It often seems they are even forgotten by those who received the gift and the privilege of parenthood through the birth mom’s loss, though certainly not in Tara’s case. Invisibility and silence gives adopted children and adults the message that they are forgotten by their birth moms and that, they too, have no place for expressing their feelings, thoughts, or questions about the woman who gave the gift of life.
Most people are simply unaware that for the rest of their lives, many birth moms feel sorrow and love for the children they have lost through adoption. This is partly because there has never been a place or a way until now for birth moms to tell their stories. Their pain has been made invisible by a society that tells them they can forget. Without permission to grieve by some around them, some have lived in isolation and silence with a great wound upon their hearts and souls. They have lived with the unspeakable sorrow of a mother’s loss, a mother who lives separated from her child.
Despite this invisibility and denial, birth moms are mothers. They are not egg donors or baby making machines as a reporter so cryptly
claimed when visiting Gladney in 2000. They have hearts and stories. The process of pregnancy and the act of birth are profound life-changing experiences. The birth experience impacts a woman for the rest of her life.
Connections of heart, spirit, and biology are forged. Eternal connections are made that cannot be dissolved by ink and paper. When birth is followed by the abrupt loss or separation from one’s child, a mother is plunged into the most difficult of human experiences – grief, loss, despair, shame, and failure.
This is the traumatic aftermath of an adoption decision for a birth mom no matter how much she knows in her head that she did the right thing. It is with her the rest of her life. Some birth mothers ultimately find peace with the adoption decision but even more live with it as an open wound. It is a wound for which little understanding or help has come from those who advocate, facilitate and profit from adoption, some say.
Mother’s Day brings a birth mother’s feelings and memories rushing forward like a tide. Most birth moms have endured this annual event in isolation, invisibility, silence and secret grief, acknowledging their motherhood and their absent child only to themselves.
Birth Mother’s Day was created to help birth moms move through this torrent of memory and feeling. It is a way to take back their rightful name of Mother and celebrate themselves as birth givers – the ones who give life. It is a way to expand the celebration of Mother’s Day to make it inclusive of all the mothers in their communities. It is a day to remember and to celebrate the birth of their children – an experience many of them were denied. In doing this they affirm their connection and feeling for their children. They create a space to tell their stories and become fully human again – with names, faces, voices and compassion for themselves and their experiences.
Birth Mother’s Day is held on the day before Mother’s Day. There are several reasons for this. The first of these recognizes their motherhood is one of loss and abrupt separation as well as love and connection. Many of them were treated like criminals, abandoned by their families, their communities, and their children’s fathers. These are not the traditional experiences or sentiments associated with the Mother’s Day observances yet these remembrances are summoned forth yearly at this time. A separate day allows all of the feelings to be acknowledged especially those that are painful and rooted in grief. Birth moms who have had other children express feeling torn between the Mother’s Day celebrations of the children they are raising and the memory of the child who is absent. A separate day allows for observance and expression of both circumstances.
Secondly their motherhood comes first and makes possible the motherhood of another woman – the adoptive mother. If they had not given birth, there would be no child for the adoptive mother (and father) to parent. Observing Birth Mother’s Day on the Saturday prior to Mother’s Day symbolically represents this reality. Adopted children have two mothers. Their shared child links them one to one another. The intention is not to detract from those who are parenting their children but to make this annual observance inclusive of all the mothers in the lives of their children and their communities. Observing Birth Mother’s Day could also create a time for families of adopted children to talk openly about birth families and the ways they are all connected to one another through their children.
Mother’s Day was originally founded by Julia Ward Howe as a day for peace in which the mothers of the world would commit themselves to peace by not allowing their children to kill another mother’s child in war. This commitment was based on the shared understanding of a mother’s love and the terrible grief of losing a child. In recognizing the love and the sorrow of birth moms, Birth Mother’s Day can be seen as an act of peace making and healing. In their events in Seattle, birth moms have attended with the adoptive mothers of their shared children and adoptive mothers and fathers have attended on behalf of their adopted children as well.
Author Wendy Thompson kept a travel log from her trip around the world to film adoption stories and the people who told them.
Tara decided for Mother’s Day she was going to put some care packages together and take them to the nursing home next door to where she worked and visit some residents who don’t get visitors. There were quite a few, according to the activity director. She figured it would take her mind off the significance of the day for her.
Maybe she’d make it a tradition or even start doing it weekly.
May 3, 2001
Tara had lunch with an old Gladney resident/former boss who lived in the dorm with her the year before and who was her old boss, too.
Eleven months later the birth mom’s employees still said derogatory things about her adoption plan.
“I’m so sick of it,” she said to Tara over lunch. “They keep saying things like ï¿½You should’ve kept the baby and let us raise it.’
“You need to get out of there,” Tara said.
“Why should I have to leave?”
“You shouldn’t have to but you don’t deserve that,” Tara said, reflecting back on her harassment when she worked there pregnant the year before.
“I just can’t believe how ignorant people are and the things they’ll say,” she said.
“Yeah, it’s like ï¿½Do you hear the words coming out of your mouth?'”
The birth mom’s daughter was going to be a year old in another month. It was so hard to believe.
A guy came in with thirteen-month old twins to Tara’s office and she thought about one former Gladney resident who had delivered around that time and wondered how she was doing.
May 5, 2001
Veronica’s nieces were baby-sitting MacKenzie that night. Ben and MacKenzie loved them and Ben especially had them wrapped around his little pinkie. They did kind of fight over who got to hold MacKenzie so Veronica and Frank had to work out a time for each of them and decide who got to bathe and feed her. Veronica said she really loved how they fight over her.
May 10, 2001
The day at work in the midst of feeling sorry for herself, Tara turned the corner and saw a young female patient who looked to be about seven or eight sitting in a wheelchair, awaiting or recovering from her chemotherapy. She was precious and frail and was covered with a white blanket. The blanket sharply contrasted against her dark African-American skin yet Tara could tell her face was pale. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she was leaning against the seat of the wheelchair.
The little girl was all alone in the hall and Tara wanted to bring her a stuffed animal or something to comfort her.
From time to time in the next week, Tara thought of her and wondered how she was and if she could find out who she was so she could find out how she was doing.
She was on her mind a lot.
Tara used to regress from age 30 to 3 when around her mother and she would often hear her in arguments with others, like when she tried on a new business suit in front of her ex girlfriend.
She used to think she was making a statement by not going home to visit since she and her mom were never close. She didn’t consider herself to be in a tug of war with her mom, just a silent war.
She didn’t feel the need to rewrite the scene with her mom because she knew it would require new actresses. She prided herself on never running home yet she didn’t feel like she was in a trap with her mom. She used to look for mother figures when she was in school. She didn’t know she was trying to take the pressure off her mom.
Yet she did get some of her mom’s strengths, ones she was proud of, like a good work ethic and persistence. Her mom’s strengths were clear to her. But she copied the struggles she had with her mom now with her friends. She didn’t know if she could ever change the way she heard her mom.
She just didn’t have the wisdom or the stamina to keep trying for the relationship she wanted.
She told herself that by giving MacKenzie a new home; she was giving her a new family tree, one whose roots were fresh and healthy rather than the dried up old dead, unhealthy family tree that was hers.
May 11, 2001
Tara heard the story of a woman in a recovery meeting who now worked in the recovery field and who had once married a man who had been married 32 times!
Susan had told her earlier that day that Mother’s Day was what you made it and that she was just suffering from her manic-depression, that if it wasn’t MacKenzie, it would be something else.
May 12, 2001
Birth Mother’s Day
Tara got an email from Veronica:
“I’ve thought of you all day,” she wrote. “Frank and I weren’t sure what to do about today or tomorrow. Firstly we wanted to send you flowers then thought it would be too hard. Of course now that it’s Saturday night I’m kicking myself for not doing it! I hope you’re with your friends tonight and tomorrow. We’re having the kids’ dedication at church tomorrow and our families are joining us for the service. I got them each a special book for tomorrow. We will be thinking of you all day tomorrow. Please know how much we love you. I have my letter completed to you and Frank’s working on his. I think I have about 30 pictures also. Please email me and tell me how your weekend is going.”
May 13, 2001
Tara didn’t even wake up depressed, which was new.
She’d gotten the care packages ready for the senior citizens at the nursing home the night before and dropped those off that morning after taking care of some other volunteer work she did for homeless animals.
The activity director at the nursing home was hurriedly preparing a Continental breakfast for the nursing home residents as Tara milled among them and distributed little gifties.
One woman’s eyes lit up when she entered the room. She had a head injury and had only been in there a few weeks. She looked to be in her 40s, Tara figured.
As the activity director sliced up watermelon and laid croissants on a platter, Tara talked briefly to most of the female residents, one of whom wanted her purse because she liked the pattern.
She showed them pictures of MacKenzie and her dog and cat but didn’t give any details. They all said MacKenzie was beautiful and Tara thanked them.
One woman reminisced about her chickens, cats, and dogs she used to have; only she thought she still had them. Tara just listened.
A group of three women waited in anticipation for visitors while the usual sax player set up his gear.
Soon more assistants and patients came into the cafeteria and Tara ran out of gifts. She had planned on staying two hours but after 30
minutes and the arrival of the activity director’s daughter and granddaughter to help, she decided to leave.
She told the activity director she’d call her after getting the okay to bring her dog the next time to cheer the residents up.
She’d seen this on TV once and had wanted to do it ever since. Her dog loved people and was the perfect size – 23 pounds.
And they would love him.
A few were really excited when she told them about it.
She checked her email and saw that Veronica had sent her Mother’s Day card from MacKenzie after Tara emailed a poem she wrote for MacKenzie. It was the most beautiful Mother’s Day card on the Internet she had ever seen.
The poem was easy to write:
When they placed you in my arms
my world changed
I never knew a mother’s love
until I looked into your eyes.
Your smile and laugh heal me now
and I remember your every detail.
Although many criticize and misunderstand
I know you’re in the best of hands.
I did what I did because I wanted
you to know laughter and peace,
and never know the pain of futility,
the coldness of a hungry night.
I love you enough to give you life
but now I know that was all I could give.
You have a mother, who’s so good to you,
who loves you enough and can give you more.
I wanted so much to give you that
that I couldn’t take anything less.
For you there should be ribbons and bows
and play and love
and hugs galore.
You came from me
but now are hers
And always will be part of them.
Although my thoughts are so much with you
I wanted to give you so much more than me.
I hope one day you’ll understand it all
And smile at how lucky you are.
There is a God who loves you so
And every day I thank Him
for giving you such a good, warm home
and never letting you suffer alone.
“I love the poem for MacKenzie,” Veronica responded. “It is so beautiful. Thank you so much for it. The dedication went really well. Our pastor talked individually to each child. He had researched each child’s name and mentioned that MacKenzie means royal birth. He assured the congregation that she was our little princess in every way. Incidentally she kicked her shoe off when he was talking to her. She doesn’t like shoes!! The congregation laughed.
I have thought of you all day. Please take care of yourself and know we love you. Thank you so much for MacKenzie.”
Susan was taking Beth to lay flowers on her mom’s grave in Dallas for Mother’s Day, something her girlfriend did every year.
Tara talked to her mom briefly and her grandma. Her grandma, who was suffering from dementia, was hard to understand and it was sad.
Tara’s mom and aunt were trying to decide whether and when to put her grandma in a nursing home. Her great-grandma, Minnie Hooker, who lived to be 102, was in a nursing home for 20 years and hated it. It wasn’t a great home and she was virtually ignored by staff.
Tara remembered her relatives used to sneak turnip greens and cornbread among other home cooked meals in to her great-grandma at her request.
When Ms. Hooker died, she had all her wits about her and could remember all her grand kids’ and great grand kids’ names. It was amazing.
Chelsea used to tease their great-grandma about having a boyfriend.
Their favorite story was of Ms. Hooker home alone at night with her numerous children one night while her husband, Jeb, was working in the field.
An intruder came to the door and full of fear, Mrs. Hooker pointed stick at the door on the other side and said, “I’ve got a gun pointed right at your head.”
Not knowing any different, the intruder took off and Mrs. Hooker breathed a sigh of relief.
Now the phone rang and it was the old Gladney resident who Tara had had lunch with a few weeks before, calling to see how she survived Mother’s Day.
“I was doing well until just now and now I’m starting to get depressed,” Tara said.
“I already had my cry,” her friend said.
Chelsea had called the day before on Birth Mother’s Day and wished her a Happy One. One other friend told her Happy Mother’s Day.
Her neighbor bragged about how her teenage daughter showered her with Mother’s Day gifts.
To experience the proceeding days that led up to the big day, she really thought she’d have a horrendous day when Sunday finally rolled around.
That day the local paper ran another story on adoption and Gladney (they had run lots over the years). The headline read “Unselfish Love: Mother’s Day is bittersweet for those who chose adoption.” The reporters interviewed a 27-year-old woman who was among millions of women who had placed their children in adoptive homes.
Like Tara, the woman didn’t know where her six-year-old son lived but knew him through snapshots and letters. She said she had no regrets about her decision. She suffered from Multiple Sclerosis, a degenerative disease affecting the central nervous system.
According to the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, an estimated one million children in the country live with adoptive parents.
Lack of information about the adoption process is the primary reason more women don’t consider adoption placement, adoption officials say.
Psychologists say that seeing pictures of a happy and loved baby with an adoptive family gives the birth mom a sense of security.
Like another birth mom interviewed who had gone through a different agency said, there are some things only other birth mothers can understand.
In time another birth mom accepted her decision by realizing the spiritual and biological bond her and her son share.
At the time the article was published, her son had written his first letter to her, drawing several phases of the moon.
Tara had coffee with a friend of hers over the weekend that was trying to get visitation to see his daughter who lived with his ex-wife. He hadn’t seen her since she was a year old and she was seven now.
Suffering from multiple personality disorder, he had been in four hospitals in the past two months. The doctors were always trying to straighten out his meds.
A co-worker had invited Tara to a mother/daughter dinner at her church but Tara declined. The co-worker meant well, Tara knew, but didn’t understand why going to a mother/daughter dinner would be painful for Tara Mother’s Day weekend.
May 14, 2001
“Just came from the post office mailing your pics and letters,” Veronica wrote. “I printed your poem for MacKenzie’s book and also a copy for my mom. She cried and thought it was beautiful. She was worried about you yesterday (Mother’s Day). I had talked to her about
what to do – flowers, gifts; etc. and she thought it would be harder for you. But then yesterday she said she wished I had sent flowers. But please know you were on a lot of people’s minds yesterday.”
May 15, 2001
Tara got her packet of letters and pix from Veronica and Frank and went and picked them up as usual before waiting for the center to mail them to her:
“It was so wonderful to see you in April,” Veronica wrote. “My mom keeps commenting on how much MacKenzie looks like you! Yes, she’s a beautiful girl! Thank you so much for coming to the restaurant after the court proceeding. My family thought you were great. I know it couldn’t have been easy walking into that room! As usual, you handled it with class and style!
MacKenzie continues to be a joy! She’s still small at 14 pounds, 8 ounces but growing longer and has some fat on her legs! Eating continues to be slow but as I’ve told you, Early Childhood Intervention is involved and we’re doing play therapy with food about three times a day. This involves pouring jars of baby food on to her tray of her high chair and literally playing in the junk. We also smear some favorite toys with bananas, cereals or potatoes. Thus far it’s slow going, but I’m determined that she’ll eat her birthday cake (a taste) in August.
She has two teeth – two more coming in so her hands are always in her mouth. Language skills continue to be strong as she continues to babble dadada, mamama, nananama, babababa, lalahahah, and gagagaga. Ben is frustrated that she won’t say his name. He stays in her face repeating it and the closest she can get is bububuer which is fine with us, but he is determined to have her say Ben. Who knows, maybe that’ll be her next word. She’s scooting everywhere; not really crawling but she scoots backwards and rolls everywhere. She raises up on her hands and rocks so the next step – crawling! She continues to love the exersaucer, the walker, and the floatie inner tube in the Jacuzzi. I’ve never seen a child love water so much. She jumps up and down and laughs while in the water.
We continue to think of you often and remember you in our nightly prayers. Mother’s Day is this weekend and I know it will be hard for you. Please know how much we love your daughter and how thankful we are that you so unselfishly decided on placement with us. We are so thankful and humbled.
I’m sending lots of pictures, as I know your mom and sister want some. I especially love the one at the restaurant of you and she. Please tell us of anything – anything we can do to make this easier for you; i.e., more or less letters or pics. I pray that things are getting easier for you, yet fear they are not. Remember that we will tell MacKenzie that you put her FIRST in your decision and how very special that makes her to us all. We love you!”
Frank wrote his usual letter with a few updates added. He always printed his on colored paper with computer drawings on it:
“Well, it has been almost nine months since you gave MacKenzie to me and Veronica,” he wrote. “MacKenzie continues to develop into her own little person. I pray and hope that things are going well for you and that you are handling this Mother’s Day well. Developmentally MacKenzie is reaching all of her levels. Physically she is quite small for her age but we continue to work with her and the folks from Early Childhood Intervention to ensure her nutrition and weight gain. She is teething right now and not sleeping much at all but we are giving her as much attention that anyone possibly could. She has the most amazing smile; it just warms your heart every time you see it. She is definitely a Daddy’s Girl who makes Veronica kind of jealous but she will probably like her more when she gets older. I hope things are going well for you in your new job and new living quarters. MacKenzie is sitting up by herself now but I’m looking forward to when she can crawl and walk. She is a beautiful little girl that has her Daddy wrapped around her little finger.”
To Tara, MacKenzie embodied the childhood spirit that Tara used to wear proudly as a ten-year-old, getting her face painted at the local carnival, being playful, innocent, full of wonder, and carefree.
“I certainly think it’s normal to feel sad and down,” wrote Veronica. “You suffered a tremendous loss and every Mother’s Day will bring lots of intense feelings as will her birthday and all holidays. I’m so glad you still go to the support group meetings.
MacKenzie’s appetite is about the same. Her weight is up to 15 pounds, 6 ounces as we had to visit the doctor as she had another ear infection today. Her tongue thrust is almost totally gone. The reflux seems better with the Zantac but then some days she seems uncomfortable. No real problem with allergies lately.
Despite the fact that she had an ear infection we had a great day. She’s rolling everywhere and occasionally gets stuck under the couch or the buffet and starts grunting. Still loving her baths with Ben and we got her a small blow up pool that we can just put an inch or two of water in and she loves to splash in it while Ben is watering the garden and the house and anything else he can water, including his sister.
She’s really noticing books lately, too. We read every night but only recently has she shown an interest in looking at the pictures and trying to turn the pages by herself. I want her to love to read. Her latest trick is to roll to the bottom bookshelf and pull out all the books on top of herself and pat them and “talk” to them.” Tara wrote Veronica back:
“I’m doing well. A lot better than I have been,” wrote Tara. “I love seeing you all in April, too and it was very good for me. I showed the new pics to an old friend of mine last night when she came over and she said, ï¿½Aw, she’s happy!’ I think a lot about how MacKenzie will be when she’s older, what she’ll be like, look like, what her talents and interests will be. I didn’t mind meeting you at the restaurant at all. I wasn’t even nervous, just excited to see her. It wasn’t hard for me at all, really. I just wanted to see her. I thank God every day and night for Him providing such a good home for MacKenzie and it makes me feel good that she’s so well taken care of, beyond anything I could have ever imagined for her!
The play therapy you’re doing for MacKenzie’s appetite sounds interesting. I would never have thought of putting food on her toys which is a really neat idea. When I was a kid the doctor kept trying to get me to gain weight, believe it or not. It doesn’t surprise me that MacKenzie’s verbal because Alex and I both are, although I know that may sound conceited. It’ll be cool when she finally says Ben’s name! I loved hearing about MacKenzie’s scooting, especially under the buffet and what she does with the books, pulling them on top of her. It always makes me smile when you share cute things with me that she does. I also had a small Kiddy pool when I was little and we used to put the end of the slide from the swing set in it, fill the pool with water, and slide down the slide into the pool. It was a lot of fun. My best friend and neighborhood friends would come over and we’d stay out there for hours.
I can’t wait to scan these new pix you sent of MacKenzie to send to my mom, Chelsea, relatives; etc. Susan and Beth really liked them, too.
Please don’t worry about me. I just have to go through the grief process but it really is getting easier, day by day. I regret that I’ve told you so much during this process because the last thing I want to do is make you feel bad or worry. I had a dream the other night that I asked God to give me another chance to be a mom in the future with another child but it terrifies me.”
Tara wrote Frank:
Thank you as always for continuing to write me. Thank you especially for battling fatigue to meet me at the restaurant last month. Things are going well here and I’m very glad to hear MacKenzie is doing so well developmentally. I was very small as a child; too, to the point that kids made fun of me but by the time I was out of elementary school, I was ï¿½normal.’ I hope you’re able to get some sleep despite her teething. I was always told I had a great smile, too, just stopped using it. Now I’m trying to use it more. I hope you don’t mind but I always send copies of yours and Veronica’s letters (only the ones by mail) to Chelsea and my mom just because I like for them to know how MacKenzie is. I think it’s great about MacKenzie loving the Jacuzzi. I’m still temping and looking for a permanent job. My new apartment is great and everyone likes it. My friend who I saw last night couldn’t believe MacKenzie is sitting up already.”
May 17, 2001
Tara got an email from a former resident who had done the artwork for the dorm newsletter:
“Your poem made my mother and I cry,” she wrote. “I just finished my story for the Gladney web site. I am so proud of us that we have used this experience to grow spiritually and help others at the same time. I celebrated my son’s birthday with my closest friends and by going to mass (something I don’t do very often). I get a final visit May 21 and am so excited. Where has the time gone? He is over a year old and MacKenzie just a few months behind! She is a beautiful girl and please forward any recent pics! I hope your first Mother’s Day went as
well as expected. I liked the idea of Birth Mother’s Day, too. I celebrated both!”
May 22, 2001
“I’m glad you liked the pics and I’m doubly glad you enjoyed the coming to the restaurant,” Veronica emailed. “I think of you every single day and wonder how you’re doing. I figure that during the first year you’ll have more bad days than good, but hopefully the next and subsequent years will get easier. We love you so much and want your happiness. MacKenzie continues to scoot everywhere. She’s interested in Ben’s toys versus hers. It’s quite funny to see Ben develop new interest in old toys he hasn’t touched in a while just because “sister” wants them. He is learning to share. Sometimes she has a toy he wants and he’ll negotiate with her (ï¿½I’ll give you this neat toy for that one’). Usually she doesn’t care as her attention span is pretty short and she tires of any toy quickly.”
Tara was grateful that adoptions had changed through the years and were more open.
It seemed she was frequently meeting someone who had either place a child for adoption, was adopted, or whose grandkids or kids were adopted.
She had no idea it was so common.
The center was getting ready to relocate.
There were three women at her job who were pregnant. Two of them were expecting their first ones and one of them was due the day before MacKenzie’s birthday.
May 26, 2001
“I just got finished reading your journal online,” wrote Veronica. “As usual it made me happy and sad and I cried and laughed. I promise to videotape MacKenzie this week especially in the Jacuzzi and “crawling” or rolling as she is doing. I think it might make things better to see how she’s doing but if you think it hurts too much, please let me know. Frank and I have had a long talk and we should be able to swing private school. I just want them to have the best opportunities.”
May 28, 2001
“I worked last night, so slept for about five hours then got up because I missed the kids,” Veronica emailed. “I’ve been videotaping all day. I got footage of MacKenzie in the Jacuzzi, the tub, her room so far. Ben, of course, is in the video also. I’m leaving the camera out for the next few days to catch her when she’s “crawling,” scooting, laughing; etc. My friends invited me canoeing but I told them to ask me in a few years as I can’t stand to be away from the kids. They kinda laughed at me as their kids are older and they don’t remember missing them like I do. We’re talking about a trip in October to the balloon festival in Albuquerque. It’s so awesome as we went before. I think the kids would like it also. I emailed my sister-in-law the web site for your journal and she loved it.”
May 29, 2001
Tara’s old boss, the former resident who placed her little girl last June, was planning to plant a tree for her June 10th, on her first birthday, in commemoration of the event.
Amy, the resident who had made MacKenzie’s baby blanket, came in to town to see her little girl at the finalization of the adoption Memorial Day week.
Time was passing by so quickly and it was hard to believe that each one of them was nearing finalization and soon their own kids would be in school.