Apparently there is a country called “Canada,” and it is near enough to travel to, with friendly natives who love to see American dollars. Here’s what you can expect to be different from America during your trip through “Canada.”
To understand Canadian culture, you first need to know that it is very close to American culture, but the attitude we have toward Europe is directed at the U.S. in their case. Though we support Canada militarily, culturally and with our generous tourist dollars, and have been allies for over a century, “Canadians,” as they call themselves, like to blame us for some of their society’s ills, and to look down on us for our political strength. When a Canadian should approach you and do this, it is polite to smile and nod appreciatively. Calling a Canadian “cute” in this instance is considered rude, and you should wait until the Canadian is out of earshot before doing this.
The interior of Canada is highly dangerous, as demonstrated by the fact that 90 percent of all Canadians live within 100 miles of the U.S. border. Travel into the frozen wastelands beyond the 100 mile mark is not recommended.
In the 100 mile band of populated country, there are plenty of activities that will interest the entire family. There is lake fishing, ocean fishing from the shore, deep sea fishing, stream fishing, pond fishing and ice fishing. There are also a few museums interespersed throughout the country.
If you do rent a car for your drive through the populated band in search for a place to fish, please remember that Canada has not yet adopted the system of miles and miles per hour. They still use complex, traditional system based on the number 10- the metric system. This means that Canada has no speed limit signs and no mile marker signs. You are expected instead to make calculations based on their metric signs.
In Canada, it is ok to start any kind of argument that you feel you should, up to and including road rage complete with hand gestures. Canadians do not generally carry guns, and they do appreciate our demonstrative anger.
The police force in Canada rides on horseback- a picturesque horsie rider, complete with a quaint red costume with shiny boots, makes a lovely photo. These policeman have no crime to tend to, so their continued existence is largely ceremonial. The members of the horseback police force enjoy posing for photographs, and they do accept tips for their excellent work in posing and smiling. If it is near Christmas time, feel free to use one of these policemen as a substitute Santa Clause- sit your little ones in the policeman’s lap and have them tell him what they want for Christmas.
Until a few years ago, it was not necessary to have a passport to cross the border- Canadians love Americans to come to their country and tried to make it as easy as possible. But recently, Canada has become concerned about the amount of fish that Americans have been bringing back. In order to keep tabs on the amount of fish coming in and out of the country, Canada has begun checking Americans as they enter and exit the country, as well as issuing their own passports. You must now show your passport at the border, and are advised to eat your catch before returning to the U.S.
Though most people who know about Canada know only about the fishing, there are actually many other things to do there. There is moose hunting, as well as moose watching. Moose are very tall and strong animals, and travelers are advised not to get too close to a moose. Also, if the moose in question belongs to a Canadian, he may become afraid that you are trying to steal his moose. It is best to observe the moose through binoculars at a safe distance from the moose and Canadian.
The best time of the year to visit Canada is the second week of July. The rest of the year is much too cold in Canada for enjoyable travel for most tourists. If you have booked your travel for Canada’s week-long travel season, remember these travel tips, and you are sure to have a safe and fun-filled trip for all ages.