Statistics have shown that the most difficult gift to purchase is a toss up between one presented to wives and – are you ready for this – men! Historically, Christmas gifts for men are tough ones to buy. Regardless of who purchases them, Christmas gifts for men invariably become last minute ticket items that tend to occur at…well…the last minute! And in that last minute, what do the most popular Christmas presents for men turn out to be? You guessed it – a tie, a belt or a sweater!
That’s right – a tie a belt or a sweater. Those are gifts that can’t fail, right? But come on, there has to be something more interesting, more profound and certainly more fun than those three items. What is it about the male species that makes it so difficult to purchase Christmas gifts? The answer is almost blissfully simple: men are p-r-a-c-t-i-c-a-l! And if it’s one thing that a woman tends not to be when purchasing a gift, it’s practical!
Think about it: a woman goes into a store, walks up to the counter and sees a hammer and a silk ascot lying on the counter. Which one do you think she will consider makes the ideal Christmas gift for her significant other? Now, she may know in her heart-of-hearts that the hammer is something her husband/ boyfriend/ lover can really use. But it’s the ascot that she will purchase! Why? Because it looks nice! It will look good on him! The ascot, or the tie, or the belt offers a chance to dress the man up a bit. The male on the other hand, opens up his gift and fake gloats over yet another belt…or tie…or whatever. He smiles, praises the obvious good taste his wife/girlfriend/lover has, and hopes like hell that this good gesture on his part will lead to sex later in the evening.
The thing is, Christmas gifts for men need not be so difficult. Again, all it takes is some acknowledgement on the part of the female that the gift serves a purpose. A little compromise and collaboration seem to go a long way as well! Ladies, if you’re out there, consider purchasing gifts in clusters of three! For example, a battery-operated hand drill, a subscription to “Duck Hunter Monthly” and a silk bathrobe – which is what you wanted to give the guy in the first place! Your mate should receive the gifts in ascending order: first the wife hooks her guy with the magazine subscription. Then she reels him in with the portable drill, and then Ba-Da-Bing! She lands him with the bathrobe! This time the husband really does gloat over his wife when he goes in to the office the next day! My wife’s been using this on me for 20 years and it works every time!
It should be noted that Christmas gifts for men can also lean in an entirely different direction, yet the woman can still come out on top (if you know what I mean, and I think you do). When it comes to men, funny Christmas gifts count almost as much as power tools. Next time you want to score points, score a laugh, and be forever revered in the eyes of your man! Just remember – go funny! How about a glow-in-the-dark condom? Makes a great gift! Or cotton briefs with the wife’s photo on the crotch! A winner to be sure! The wife may feel these Christmas gifts leave something to be desired, but to a man they are great! Trust me, what man wouldn’t be proud to have a mounted mackerel on his wall that starts singing every time sometime walks by?
Just remember – there will always be room for classy Christmas gifts: A diamond tie-pin, an engraved money clip, a framed photo of the Mr. & Mrs., monogrammed suspenders. They all have their place in a man’s closet or at least in his bedroom. But those gifts will be a lot more appreciated if they are supplemented with useful items that make a man feel like a man!