Before I begin, I must apologize to the people on my Buddy List who aren’t content producers for Associated Content. This article probably won’t interest you in the least. I wrote it for the benefit, and hopefully the amusement, of other Associated Content content producers. But before you go, oh wonderful friends and family, would you mind clicking on the other pages of this article to give me a few more page hits? Thank you. You’re the best. Now, back to business-writing this article inspired by another Associated Content article, Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom.
When I came across Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom on Associated Content, I considered writing an article in response to it. I was in the market for existing Associated Content articles I could use to take advantage of the then-current Associated Content “What’s Your Take?” content special offer. It promised a minimum of $10 for articles that complemented existing Associated Content articles and linked to them in their first paragraphs.
But after reading Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom, I realized I really didn’t have any dirty little mommy secrets to add to Heather Michelle Grenier’s list, and I couldn’t really contest the truth of any of the ones she shared in her article. Well, OK, I could argue with her that stay-at-home moms take naps during the day. I’m a stay-at-home mom, and I certainly don’t have time for that. But I couldn’t really write 700 words about how stay-at-home moms can’t get any daytime shut-eye. So I decided to simply borrow her format. And here you have it: Confessions of an AC Content Producer. Perhaps you can relate to the 10 secrets I’m about to divulge and maybe even pick up a few tips.
#10 – I’m guilty, and I admit it. I’m usually the first to give my Associated Content articles big, fat five-star ratings. Hey, there’s no rule against it (that I know of). Besides, if you can’t believe in yourself and your own talent, how can someone else? The bottom line is that high ratings mean possible exposure on the Associated Content home page, and that translates into more page hits. We all know that more page hits means higher clout, and higher clout supposedly means more pay. (I only recently hit Clout 6 after a long stint at Clout 4, so I haven’t experienced that yet.) Those who say it’s unethical to rate your own writing can continue to do as they wish with their Associated Content articles, but I consider clicking on that far-right star just another means of marketing my articles.
#9 – I’m addicted to Associated Content. Yes, just as a crack junkie needs his pipe or whatever crack junkies use, I have to check the Associated Content home page as well as my “My Content” page multiple times each day. I log in to Associated Content in the morning and keep my content producer page up all day on one of the tabs in my Mozilla Firefox browser-right next to my e-mail. Each time I refresh “My Content,” I’m silently hoping that the little white box will appear. You know the one. It announces the amount of the offer an Associated Content content manager is prepared to make on your newest article. When it actually happens, there’s this tiny rush of adrenaline as I select “Accept Offer.” Friends and family, if you’re still reading, please don’t start planning ways to get me out of the house. I really do have a life. It’s just that it’s satisfying to get a little back from something into which you’ve invested some creative energy.
#8 – The Associated Content boards have sucked me in like a Hoover, too. I’m not a person who blogs or hangs out in online chatrooms, so when I joined Associated Content about two months ago, visiting the “Forum” wasn’t high on my list of to-dos. But one day I ventured in, and now I’m hooked. It’s a great place to find answers to your questions about Associated Content, get advice and support from seasoned Associated Content content producers, promote your content, and sometimes even have a laugh. Can’t … stop … reading … posts …
#7 – I leave comments on articles written by other Associated Content content producers in the hope that, out of curiosity, they will click on my little photo avatar to visit my content producer page and read some of my articles. Translation: more page hits for me. Now this isn’t the only reason I leave comments. I like to support fellow Associated Content content producers who have created well written and informative or entertaining articles. But there is always that little side benefit for me-more exposure.
#6 – I use and abuse my friends and family for page hits. You already know this from reading the beginning of this article, but it’s something I must confess. Sometimes I feel guilty about hitting up loved ones for page hits, but then I tell myself that I’d have no problem helping them out. Oh, and I remind myself that while I might be overstepping the boundaries of social decency by asking people to use THEIR precious time to read MY articles and help ME, that the end result is a higher clout number. And what kind of Associated Content content producer would I be if I didn’t aspire to climb the clout ladder?
#5 – I don’t mind the 5-to-6-business-day window between article submission and offer from Associated Content. I use it to proofread my work and make changes if some particular wording is nagging at me. It never fails that I find at least one error, even despite using a dictionary while I work-I recommend Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary in hardcover (it also comes with a handy CD-ROM)-and using my computer’s spell check function. Errors are inevitable, but I find them more easily if I wait a day after submitting an article and then reread it with fresh eyes. Some people complain about the time between submission and offer. But if you ask any freelance writer how long it takes to receive a response to a query letter, they’ll tell you it takes weeks, months, and sometimes you never hear back at all. So five or six business days isn’t that bad. It’s the perfect amount of time to proofread your submissions and then proofread them again. “Ewe never no watt you’re spell check mite miss.”
#4 – Shhhh. Don’t tell anyone, but I’m not getting rich writing for Associated Content. Maybe it’s good that I’m confessing this. Maybe it will ease the minds of the content producers in the “Forum” who complain about $3 offers. While I’ve only received one $3 offer for a college paper on Simon and Garfunkel-most have been $10 for special content offers or a couple of dollars more or less than that-it’s pretty clear from the Associated Content FAQs, which anyone can ready before they join, that the range for articles is $3 to $20. And if you read the boards, you’ll find that the average is around $10. I understand that the time one puts into an article is usually worth way more than a measly $10, but that is what we all agreed to when we signed up. If you need or want to make more money from your writing, sell your articles elsewhere. If you find a place where you can get paid more to write short articles about any topic you can dream up from your personal experience, please let me know. In the meantime, use spell check. Maybe your offers will increase. (Was that too harsh?)
#3 – OK, enough whining. My next confession is that I’ve become so obsessed with writing about whatever tickles my fancy (like this article), that I’m constantly brainstorming for article ideas and jotting them down in a Word file I call “AC Article Ideas.” When playing with my son, I find myself thinking about which toys might be good to review. It’s gotten so bad that when I’m washing the dishes I’ve caught myself wondering if people would read a comparison of Dawn Direct Foam and Palmolive Oxy Plus Foam. I’ve resisted penning this little gem, however. I figure that for just $2.99 people can find out for themselves which dish soap works better. (It’s Dawn Direct Foam, by the way.)
#2 – I’ve become shameless with content special offers, particularly the one I mentioned at the beginning of this article. Am I the only one who used this offer to promote one’s own content? Hey, I followed the rules. My articles linked to existing Associated Content articles (my own) in their first paragraphs. They were each of at least 700 words in length. I used “Content Special Offer” as my subheadlines. And I was paid $10 for them. (If you don’t believe me, check out this review or this article about Halloween) I’m just wondering if any other content producers did this. Am I the only one so desperate for page hits that I wrote content that complemented my own content? Please tell me no; I’m feeling kind of dirty right now.
#1 – OK, here it is, my deepest, darkest secret-I wrote this article (yes, the one you’re reading right now) with the greedy hope that my fellow Associated Content content producers would make it a hit. Actually, I was hoping it would result in more than just a “hit.” I was hoping it would result in many, many hits. Page hits. After all, that’s the name of the game at Associated Content.
Fellow content producers, do you have any secrets you’d like to get off your chest? Consider the comments section below your confessional.
Other attempts at humor by this content producer include:
What’s That in the Toilet? (A True Story)
Gift Ideas for People Who Love Funny Junk
Top Barbecue Restaurants in Lockhart, Texas