What causes temper tantrums?
The dreaded temper tantrums are equally common in boys and girls ranging in ages 1 to 3. They are a completely normal part of development. If you can recall how you felt the last time you tried to complete a frustrating task, like fix your computer, then you can understand your toddlers temper tantrums. Did you throw the help manual? Walk away or even slam a door? Those are examples of the adult version of the temper tantrum, and while toddlers don’t have to fix stubborn computers, they are constantly learning and trying manage the world around them. Often your toddlers feeling are as if he/she were having to fix a stubborn computer everyday, sometimes they need to vent their frustration.
Avoiding temper tantrums
Let’s say that you’re taking your son to the park today, but you can only stay for an hour, and you know he’ll be upset that you have to leave early. Talk to him about it on the way to the park. Tell your son that “We’re going to the park now, but we’ll have to leave right when Mommy says so because we have other things to do today. We’ll be able to come back to the park tomorrow.”
Is your child getting enough attention? See to it that they are, because temper tantrum’s can be a direct result of a lack of attention. In a child’s eyes negative attention is better than no attention. So pay attention to your child while he/she are behaving well and reward that with lots of love and support. Your attention is what your child craves most, so give them all they want.
Give a little, control that is. Ask which pj’s they want to wear to bed or what they would like to drink. Ask “would you like apple juice or milk?’ Be sure to give choices so that the answer isn’t always “no”.
Remove he/she from a frustrating situation. If you notice your child becoming frustrated then distract them. Take her outside, or inside if your out. Offer a different toy or start playing a fun game, like singing or patty cake.
Say yes when you can, if the request isn’t harmful to them or anyone else, try to facilitate their wants.
When temper tantrums hit
You’ve done everything you’re suppose to do, but chances are you’ll still experience at least the occasional temper tantrum and how you handle it should be determined by it’s cause. Always keep your cool, try to relax and put things into perspective. “She’s two already, it seems like she was just born and in three short years she’ll be off to kindergarten and this tantrum will be long forgotten.” Remembering things like this during a fit can help you stay calm and collected.
Temper tantrums can happen when your child is tired, hungry, frustrated, or when they don’t get their way. When they don’t get their way is probably the one that most parents have a hard time handling. A good way to deal is to ignore, simply pay no attention continue doing what you were doing. But never ever leave them alone. That could add the feeling of abandonment on top of all her other emotions. By paying no attention to their temper tantrum it’s likely they’ll get over it quickly, just make sure you stay open to them, for when they’re over it. You could say something like ” I see that your very angry, so I’ll be here when your finished.”
Sometimes a temper tantrum can be so intense that your child cannot regain control. In times like these just holding them can help. They feel like they’ve lost control and they need you to make them feel secure again. Hold your child firmly but gently and tell them that you love them and that you’re going to help them.
You cannot reason with a child during a temper tantrum. So explaining to your son why he can’t walk up the steps, have a toy in the store or whatever else is a waste of time. All you should try to tell him is that you love him and you’ll help him. Never give into a tantrum. I understand how fits in the middle of grocery stores can be stressful and embarrassing, but you can never give into it even once. If your daughter started kicking and screaming because you said she couldn’t have the candy then at that point giving her the candy would only reinforce her bad behavior. It would tell her that the tantrum worked, conditioning her to throw a fit whenever she didn’t get something she wanted. Instead, teach her how to work through tantrums, she’ll be much better off in the long run.
After the Temper Tantrum
Lots of love and affection are in order here. Show your child that you love them, no matter what they did, but do not allow them to have or do the object of the tantrum. Lather, Rinse, Repeat. You’re raising the model citizen of tomorrow!