For the most part, I think we humans want to believe others. We want to be able to trust other people the same way they can trust us. I would like to be able to take other people at face value. But, the plain truth is, you can’t. In today’s world, everyone needs to learn how to protect themselves from unsavvy liars. I’m not talking about people who tell “little white lies” necessarily. I’m referring to people who tell out-and-out, bald-faced lies. Those are the lies that can harm you and your reputation. Believing lies can often leave you ripped-off financially. So, don’t be duped: learn how to become a human lie detector so you can protect yourself from liars and cheats.
The body and the mind are two very complex structures. They work together seamlessly. One way they work together, is that they reveal the truth, no matter how hard a person may try to hide it. Unless a person is a professional gambler, for example, or just a practiced liar, their body language is going to give them away!
If you want to become a human lie detector, one of the easiest ways to spot a lie is to watch the speaker’s body language. Did they close their eyes when they made a (supposedly true) statement? Do they avoid eye contact with you as they are speaking? If you can see the person’s eyes, are their pupils smaller? Are they acting nervous? Is the person talking fast? (Like they want to hurry up and get it over with before they lose their nerve?) Ask them to slow down so you can understand what they’re saying. If they’re lying, they’ll probably get flustered. They may even tell you to “forget it” because they realize that you’ve caught on to their lie.
What about their arms, hands, and legs? What are they doing with them while they are speaking? People who are lying to you often have a habit of crossing their arms in front of them. Crossing one’s arms is a defensive stance. It’s like saying, “I’m telling the truth and I’ll defend it.”
If the speaker is mumbling his or her words, ask them to repeat what they said for verification. Liars usually mumble in order to mask their lies.
Is the person acting too friendly, or too happy? Laughing or smiling incessantly is another way a liar tries to camouflage the fact that they’re not telling you the truth. People who smile and act extremely friendly when I hardly know them remind me of shady car salespeople. This is an age-old trick they use to con into you buying a lemon car. Or, paying more than the car is really worth!
Listen to The Words
Listening seems to be a lost art these days. Some people, when they are conversing with another person, tune their hearing so they hear what they want to hear, and not the actual words the speaker is saying. If you want to become a human lie detector, you’ll need to listen to the actual words. Ironically, not listening is a way for us to lie to ourselves whether the speaker is telling the truth or not!
Liars often change their stories many times. Their dates, times, and other facts are often inconsistent. Liars tend to contradict themselves over and over again. It’s like they’ve told so many lies, that they can’t even keep up with themselves. Remember Sir Walter Scott’s quote? It goes “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!” It’s ever so true! To avoid being duped by a liar, don’t trust any statements or stories that keep changing.
And, if you ask a person to explain what they’ve said, or provide details, and they become angry or defensive, beware! Either it’s a touchy subject they don’t want to talk about, or, you’ve caught them in a bold-faced lie and they know it.
Liars also tend to “hem and haw” around while they’re telling you something.
Another interesting thing about liars is that they sometimes “talk too much.” In an effort to make their story believable, a liar will add many details to it.
Listen to Their Voice
Unless a person is a professional gambler who has trained themselves to convincingly lie, people who are lying to you have a habit of raising their voice. Their voice may become louder and more defiant as a way to convince you they’re telling the truth. Or, their voice may become excited and high pitched.
And finally, if you’re trying to become a human lie detector so you don’t get duped, ripped off, or just made to look like a fool, then you need to listen carefully… to your gut instincts. Sometimes, even when we least expect it, someone will say something that “just doesn’t jive.” You don’t have any proof to back up your feeling, but your gut instinct tells you what they said isn’t true. Since your gut instinct is a natural mechanism for survival, be sure that you listen to it often.