A consequence of today’s society being governed by relative morals, principles, and values is that even relationships have come to be defined as anything one wants them to be – anything that makes one happy. A further consequence is that many people in today’s society are finding themselves unhappy because they can’t seem to either find or attain the type of relationship they think would make them most happy. Thus, happiness in dating and relationships has become a common course of study. An e-book published this year, Catch Him…&…Keep Him: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Mr. Right…And Keeping Him Hooked For Good, written by Christian Carter, is yet a unique and valuable contribution to this field of study.
Catch Him…&…Keep Him provides solutions to common problems women have when what they want is an intimate, long-term relationship and find that the men who enter and leave their lives won’t commit to such a relationship. While some of the advice found in Catch Him is commonly found in other dating and relationship books, Carter’s approach stands alone as unique. One of the ideas you’ll find in Carter’s e-book that you can also find expressed in different ways in other books is an explanation for why men are easily attracted to bitchy, or selfish women; an explanation asserting that men are attracted to women who are unpredictable, uncontrollable, and a challenge. Also, just like in other books, you will also find Carter debunk certain myths about sex, and fooling around – if you want a serious and long-lasting relationship, then don’t start out by fooling around; the way to a man’s heart is actually not through his body.
But what makes Catch Him unique is that Carter actually defines attraction. Carter characterizes the process of attraction and draws a distinction between physical and what he terms “Intellectual attraction,” which is the stronger, longer-lasting attraction. He also defines what sort of attraction inspires desires in men for long-term relationships and what sort of characteristics a woman must posses to inspire this Intellectual, long-term attraction. Carter also defines the woman’s role in attraction as being the one who selects the man, just like many other species in nature, and states that a woman acts most needy and insecure when she reverses her natural role and begins to believe that she is actually the one who needs to seek the approval of, and be selected by the man. Carter draws a distinction between “selecting” a man and “chasing” a man and lays out concrete ideas for “approaching” and “selecting” a man without looking like you’re chasing him. Carter’s insights concerning attraction are valuable because the information permits a woman to move past her own intuitive and preconceived notions about what attracts men, like showering a man with attention and assuming that a man wants the same type of relationship that she does – not to mention common social myths – and grasp a realistic and counterintuitive understanding of what actually is attractive, like challenging a man and being up front about what type of relationship she wants. Let’s face it. Men think differently from women. And in a society whose new trend is to center courtship around the satisfaction that mere social interaction brings, it has suddenly become imperative for women to understand how men think.
While Carter’s content makes Catch Him…&…Keep Him a useful and valuable resource, unfortunately, there are a few problems with the writing. For one thing, the e-book is a bit brief. The very fact that the e-book only spans 147 pages proves that Carter’s work would have been even more valuable had he expanded it. For instance, his e-book is generally devoid of case studies which are commonly found in other books in the dating and relationship genre. Had Carter expanded his e-book by including more real-life dialogue examples, situations from real lives and real relationships to illustrate more of his major points, then Catch Him would have been greatly improved. For example, in Chapter 7, Carter spends a great deal of time telling the readers to go out to a bar with a girlfriend who is a “Natural” at attracting men and observe her in action. Really, what Carter should be doing is giving the readers his own explicit blow-by-blow account. Another example is that Carter spends a great deal of time talking about the attractive qualities of what he calls a “Cool Girl.” Again, Carter should have included some concrete dialogue samples and case studies.
Another problem with the writing is that, on the surface, Carter’s argument appears to be badly organized. However, a careful study of the e-book shows that the argument, in actuality, is well structured and that all points follow well one from the other. The real problem lies in the fact that Carter is a repetitive writer: he brings up points that he doesn’t elaborate on until much later, and meticulously elaborates on points he already spent a great deal of time explaining earlier on. However, the true merit in Carter’s writing style lies in the fact that the writing is relaxed, casual, and engaging.
All in all Christian Carter’s Catch Him…&…Keep Him is a unique, valuable, and possibly essential resource.
