To my total amazement, the press people got back to pretty quickly when I requested an exclusive interview with the Easter Bunny. Usually, when media contacts read the term “freelance writer” next to your name, they run for the hills and simply forget to respond to your numerous email inquires.
Not so the with the Easter Bunny’s media office. Obviously, the Easter Bunny had a lot to say and was happy to grant my request.
On a recent morning right before sunrise, the Easter Bunny is a morning rabbit, you know, I had an exclusive interview via video conference. See the full video here.
The springtime holiday icon was looking casual, wearing a brown vest with gold buttons. He was happily gnawing a carrot, and between his chewing I managed to get the answer to some important questions.
Exclusive Interview with the Easter Bunny
“Thank you for agreeing to this interview. I appreciate the wonderful opportunity,” I told the Easter Bunny. “I’ll get right to the questions, I know your busy these days.”
Question:“Is there a Mrs. Easter Bunny?”
Answer: “No. I am a bunny, I like to play the field.”
Question: “How do you feel about Santa Claus?”
At this question, the Easter Bunny took a long pause. He sucked in his breath and let out a long, exasperated sigh.
Answer: “I think I work a lot harder than Santa, and he gets a lot more credit. He has the help the elves, Mrs. Claus, all those reindeer…and me? I do it all by myself.”
Question: “Am I sensing a holiday symbol rivalry here?”
Answer: “Yes, yes you are. I don’t know why Santa Claus is more popular than me. He’s a jolly old fellow, and all, and we IM each other a lot, but don’t you think I’m cuter?
Question:“Yes, of course you are cuter. It’s just that more kids believe in Santa than in you. Why is that?”
Answer: “I’ve wondered that for years. If a man in a red suit can climb down chimneys, why is it so hard for them to believe that I hop around and fill their Easter baskets?”
Question: “Well, more kids know about Santa Claus than the Easter bunny, don’t you agree?”
Answer: “I blame Hollywood for that. How many movies are about believing and not believing in Santa Claus? What about me? When will I get my dramatic features?”
“Excuse me one minute.” The Easter Bunny pulled out a cell phone and said, “Marge, do you think you could try Tim Allen again? I really want to see what he thought of the script?” Pause. “Okay, thank you.”
“Now, where were we?”
Question: “We’re moving along to a new topic. Are there any misconceptions about you that you feel the need to clear up?”
Answer: “Yes, yes there are. For one, I am not religious. I was born out of German folk tradition. I am a secular symbol, and I mean no offense to the religious holiday of Easter.”
Question: “Has this been a big problem for you?”
Answer: “Not really. As a rabbit I have been revered as a symbol of renewal, and rebirth, which is connected to spring time. Because I am also a symbol of resurrection, the folk tradition was inffluenced by the the religious holiday of Easter.”
Question: “Do you consider yourselfy culturally diverse?”
Answer: “Absolutely. Rabbits have their own year in Chinese Astrology. The next year of the rabbit is 2011. We rabbits have also found our place in Buddhism, with the Egyptians, with Native American culture, and with ancient Mayans.”
Question: “On a lighter note, do you have any favorite books?
Answer: “”I have always enjoyed The Velveteen Rabbit, but it was written about one of my cousins. So, admittedly, I do have a soft spot for it. I also enjoy the rabbit character in the Winnie the Pooh books.”
Answer: “One last question, if you could be a human, who would you be?” Nobody. I like being a bunny, because nobody calls be a nobunny.”
“Thank you for your time.”
Look for sweet treats coming soon to a basket near you.