It can be frustrating for an adoptee to find their birth parents because there are so many hurdles to jump. Of course the main hurdle being a closed adoption with closed records. If you’re searching for a birth parent or both there are search methods you might not have thought about. You can use the following tips to help you find your parents and family. Hopefully you’ll find one or the other, but in the mean time remember to think of yourself as a detective if you’ve decided to go it alone in your adoptee search.
If you’re dead serious about finding long lost birth parents or family then some of these suggestions might not startle you. But if you’ve never tried before you may find these tips very helpful. Whether you’re just starting out or feel a little down about your search – these tips might help you make an end to your run around and your closed adoption fiasco. Remember to stay strong and keep searching everyday if you are truly serious. The only way you are going to find someone is to dedicate yourself to the search.
Four Adoptee Tips to Find the Elusive Birth Parent
1. Once you have some idea about the city or town you were born in, go on line and find the towns or county homepage website. Often times you will be able to research online public records. If you have a name, you may be able to find an address by searching the tax records. Sometimes public birth records are available online, but usually identifying information is left out. If there is an open forum where you can leave a message for the public, leave an ad stating who you are looking for, and how you can be contacted. Don’t forget to post on line at the surrounding towns websites. Promise confidentiality and leave an email address and/or phone number contact so that people with information can reach you. Keep it short and to the point but not unfriendly.
2. Post an ad in the personals or classifieds section in the local newspapers in the town you were born in. Again state who you are looking for and your contact information.
3. Order a telephone book for that area, and use leads in your adoptee search for your birth parent. Look for other names that you suspect might be related to your adoption situation. Also take a look at business like photographers’ studios, state run foster care homes, hospitals or private doctors practices top find valuable information. Often times a doctor or photographer may remember a name or an address, and after a number of years most people forget about confidentiality, or just don’t know so they share with you. Other places to look for the birth parents names are rest homes, funeral homes (yes funeral homes in case of death), schools, churches, and/or charities.
4. Find a local genealogist or one that heads a large Internet group online for your adoptee search of your birth parents. Search state specific names and towns on genealogical sites such as Ancestry.com. State specific groups are a wealth of information and usually have books on family lines and history. They can point you to other sources online too. Local town websites will at times have backed dated newspapers that contain death notices, court information, and marriage and birth announcements. Subscribe to them.
Trying to resolve the issues of being an adoptee is hard. Once you have decided to start your adoption search for your birth parents don’t forget theses few tips. Think of some of your own if these don’t work for you – no matter how crazy they sound sometimes they actually work. Find out where your parents or family shopped, ate, or worked. You will be surprised how many people remember a person. It’s only a matter of time before you meet someone that knows where they are.
There is no single magic formula to finding a birth parent. Only hard headiness and a will to keep at it will bring your goal to reality. Adoption agencies aren’t the only ones that hold the key to your future, you do and the information is out there for the taking. Take precautionary steps for safety in order to protect your identity in case your family or parents are not interested in meeting you at first. It’s unfortunate but it happens, so do everything in your power to make them feel comfortable and don’t give up.