Benjamin Franklin said, “The only things certain in life are death and taxes.” I’m not so sure about that. I think it’s pretty certain that you’ll get a chuckle out of one or two of the following quotations about Death and Taxes:
“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.” — attributed to Albert Einstein
“If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.” — Farmer’s Almanac
“The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.” — John Maynard Keynes
“Death and taxes may be certain, but we don’t have to die every year.” — Unknown
“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button.” —
Sam Levenson
“Optimist: Someone who sets aside two hours to do his income tax return.” — Unknown
“I wouldn’t mind paying taxes — if I knew they were going to a friendly country.” — Dick Gregory
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.” — Herman Wouk
“Tax reform means, ‘Don’t tax you, don’t tax me. Tax that fellow behind the tree.'” — Russell Long
“The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.” — Joe E. Lewis
“I don’t mind dying, the trouble is you feel so bloody stiff the next day.” — George Axlerod
“It used to be that death and taxes alone were inevitable. Now there’s shipping and handling.” — Bert Murray
“Be happy while you’re living, for you’re a long time dead.” — Scottish Proverb
“I never see the prettiest thing –
A cherry bough gone white with Spring –
But what I think, ‘How gay ‘twould be
To hang me from a flowering tree.'” — Dorothy Parker
“Indoors or out, no one relaxes
In March, that month of wind and taxes,
The wind will presently disappear,
The taxes last us all year.” — Ogden Nash
“The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.” — Will Rogers
“The report of my death was an exaggeration.” — Mark Twain (after reading his own obituary)
“The taxpayer — that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan
“People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women.” — Unknown
“The United States is the only country where it takes more brains to figure your tax than to earn the money to pay it.” — Edward J. Gurney
“There is a difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist — the taxidermist leaves the hide.” — Mortimer Caplan
“Death and taxes and childbirth. There’s never any convenient time for any of them.” — Margaret Mitchell
“On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.” — Woody Allen
