To complete my take on Shaunti Feldhaun’s two book series, I have written another article to compliment my previous article on knowing our man. As a woman, I can honestly say that this particular book helped me understand myself better. It also let me know that I wasn’t the only woman who feels certain ways or had particular desires and needs. This book made me feel ‘normal’. I hope this gives you gentlemen true insight and I also hope that the ladies reading are encouraged.
Understanding Her:
Your thought process is not like hers. She always likes to talk things out right away. Wouldn’t you rather sit, soak it in, process it and finally talk about it? Yes, I thought so. Do you really think she needs security? Yes, sure she does, but not what you think. Money in the bank? CHECK. A Home? CHECK. Transportation? CHECK. Emotionally secure? Ah, there we go. Yes, a women needs emotional security more then financial security. Your woman wants to be heard and listened to. You may not have the answers, don’t fret, just listen to her. Show her you care.
What’s Love Got to do With It?:
You’ve wooed, wined, dined and kindled the flame. After the ‘I Do’, you must prove that you really do. She is wondering do you really love her? She must be reminded, even after ‘I Do’. To her, your love certainly isn’t signed on the dotted line. Seven out of ten woman always wonder about the closeness of their relationship. Four out of five woman wonder about the love of their man toward her, on a daily basis. Like the need a man has to provide, a woman needs to know the relationship is healthy. If a woman doesn’t feel loved, she can be emotional insecure. A woman doesn’t want her man to withdrawal, because although that is how you may deal with keeping the cool, she on the other hand, feels uncared for. Do not ignore her, it can make matters worse. Even in the middle of a heated argument, reassure her that you love her. After you gain your cool, bring the matter up to her to resolve it. If she is upset, hug her. She doesn’t need space, like you would, she needs a sincere hug.
In Pursuit:
Continue to go after her. The Daytona 500 has nothing on this race, it’s never ending. There is no finish line. The little things mean a lot. After ‘I DO’, the roses still smell sweet. You will never win the dating game, it’s never over. As a man needs to feel sexually desired, a woman needs to feel special. A woman NEEDS to feel pursued. When she seems to back away, that is when she needs to be chased. Always assure her that she is sexy to you, outside of the bed. James Bond and Patrick Swayze aren’t sexy to her, they simply are hopeless romantics and she wants you to be, too.
Windows:
Like a computer with many windows opened, is the mind of a woman. She always has things going on in her mind at one time. Whereas a man thinks on one thing and solves the problem, then he would be able to close that window. A woman, on the other hand, has several things up and running at once. She always has unwanted pop ups clogging her task at hand. Believe it or not women cannot help that these unwanted pop ups are interrupting her day. As one woman says, ‘there is never a time that a woman doesn’t have something on her mind’. Why is she rambling on so much? Well is she rambling or does she have all these windows opened? She is thinking about all these things at all times.
Those Pop Ups:
Negative childhood pop ups are like spy ware rampaging through the mind of a woman. Remember, your photographic memory is similar to the archives of negative verbals from times past, to her. Words do hurt, so be careful what you say. It is very difficult to close out those pop ups even when you think they are solved or that all is forgiven. They will always come until they are fully resolved. Think of this, it’s closing time and the boss wants to see you Monday morning. Well all weekend you would worry about that meeting, right? The the same is with a woman for all things. Not only those important things. Help her close those windows, by encouraging her to resolve them.
That Crazy Little Thing Called Sex, I Mean Love:
Know that ‘NO’ doesn’t mean you. It simply means not now. Do women really want sex more then you think? Yes, I think so. Good news guys, women do care about what her man wants, including sex. Ever wonder why she doesn’t ‘want to’? Well, guess what, it isn’t because you aren’t desired. Mostly, we are tired, drained and physically not up to it. Kids tugging all day long, not to mention these pop ups clogging our minds, sometimes it is impossible to focus solely on making love. Fact is, a woman has a lower sex drive or less testosterone, then men. Women just don’t pursue sex as men do. She is more receptive then pursuant. One claims that she needs physical sexual pleasure just every 10 days. Think on this, it is thought that men need to have sex to releive exhaustion, while a woman needs to wind down first to enjoy sex. Take your time with her. Start way before bed time. Most woman desire to have as much sexual drive as her man, believe it or not. Women are turned on sexually starting in her heart, as you are turned on by her body.
Has this cleared up some of the questions you have about your woman? I sure hope so. There is more to know. Shaunti Feldhaun’s book can be bought at http://www.familylife.com. Please read my other article that will show you more about yourself and is there to help your woman understand you.
