If you saw the last episode of “The View”, you would have heard the latest hot topic, Can a person who had an affair still be a good parent? The parent who has the affair is disregarding the foundation of trust the family is built on. The Marriage may end when the affair is uncovered, and divorce is sure to follow. The number one cause of marriages ending is when an extra martial affair has occurred. It does not matter if the affair was sexual or emotional or how many years it lasted it still since will have a negative effect on the entire family.
Allowing yourself to have an affair will never make you a better parent! The affair will tear your family apart and you may even lose custody of your children. Now it is true that there are ways to be a worse parent then to have an affair. You could be abusing your children, neglecting their medical needs, or abandon them completely all of those would make you a worse parent. In a way, you are doing all three of these things to your children when you are having an affair.
You are abusing the trust that you have built up with in your family. Abusing their emotional need for security can cause many to fall into a deep depression. They will feel guilty thinking that the whole situation was some how their fault. Questions of fertility may also arise in the child or parent’s mind, which will only deepen the rift in the family. When you have an affair, you are neglecting your child’s need for a role model. You and your spouse’s actions will never just affect the marriage with out having an effect on the relationship you have with your children. When you have an affair, you are literally abandoning your child. There are only so many hours you can lie to yourself that this affair is not effecting your child. You are spending time to have an affair, time that could have been spent with your family.
Having an affair is a way that many people try to deal with a failing marriage. Instead of trying to lie to those around you try discussing the problems you two are having with each other. If you cannot find a way to solve your issues with in the marriage then you should seek professional help. Of course, it is a lot of work to save a dieing marriage and both of the parties involved will have to be honest and open to change. You should never try to seek a relationship with another adult until after you are separated. The children will need time to adjust to the idea of their parents being separated so try and be sensitive to their feelings. You will need to come to the realization that children want their mother and father to stay together. Even though your children might not be ready for you to start dating again, make it clear to them that you are still there for them.