Some children sometimes feel that they were unwanted by their parents which is why they were adopted. When a child has been separated from their biological family it can send a child into an emotional tialspin. They can begin to have problems with rage since many do not understand why their birth mothers gave them up. Although they may have had a good relationship with their stepparents this can cause a lot of stress on the relationship.
It can also be very dangerous. Venting there anger in wrong ways and taking it out on other members of the family can begin to occur. In some cases finding out the facts about their biological parents may help to alleviate some of the stress. But in most cases it is impossible to determine what motivated them to give you away. Helping them to see things from their parents point of view may help them to understand how difficult a decision this was for their parents.
Many feel that if they are financially or physically unable to care for their child, giving them up for adoption is the only other choice they have. There can be dozens of reasons why children are given up for adoption every day. But it is not necessarily because the mother hates her baby or sees some type of birth defect.
After time many adopted children will realize that their biological parents did not just abandon them. You may however want to prepare them for the possibility that this may be the situation. They should actually be focused on the love that they have received from their adoptive family. Even though the first thought that comes to your minds may be false and negative, you will want to try to disregard those feelings. Those type of thoughts can cause you even more pain. Try to think positively!
There is no doubt that life as an adopted child can have many challenges. Many tend to wonder if they should try to find out who their biological parents are. This may especially seem appealing when your adoptive parents are unreasonable. And of course this will happen at one point in your life. Having a good relationship with your adoptive parents involves much more than honor and obedience. As the parents you will want to make the home environment warm and loving. Try to find ways that will help you grow closer to them, by learning everything about them. Look for ways to contribute to their lives. For example if their is a hobby that they really enjoy you can show your support for them.
If they do decide to seek out their adoptive parent if will not mean that your bond is now threatened. The final decision should be left up to them, it should not be your decision. You can of course give them advice and try to guide them in the right direction. Make sure that they are fully prepared for anything. It is possible that they will not be happy with the information that they find. Whatever the final decision is make sure you talk everything over as a family. Listen openly to each other, and take everyone’s feeling into consideration.