For most people, pregnancy is joyous news and something to celebrate. In my case, pregnancy was much different. I was a normal 18 year old girl just finishing my freshman year of college. I had been dating the most wonderful man I had ever met for about a month. I was so happy! My grades were so-so, but okay for a first semester of college. I was a normal teenager. Then it happened. The first day of finals week I found out I was pregnant. The next 5 weeks took me and my life on a journey I will never and cannot ever forget.
The news of pregnancy was shocking and terrifying to me. Not only did I know my life would change, I dreaded telling my parents the news. Although my boyfriend was very supportive and comforting, nothing would prepare me for the conversations I would have with my mother and father. Nonetheless, I got through the announcements and had to move on. I knew there were much more important things that would be happening within the next 8 months.
During the next few weeks I made the decision to return to school full time. I knew I could not live in the dorms, so my boyfriend and I decided we would find an apartment together. Stressful situations can either bring a couple closer together or tear them apart. In our case, we became inseparable. There was no one else that knew what I was going through but him. He was my rock and I was his. Unfortunately, all the extra time I began spending with my boyfriend began taking away time I had been spending with my group of close friends. At the time I didn’t notice because I had much more on my mind, but now looking back, I know that is where it began.
Ten weeks into my pregnancy I began experiencing spotting. This went on for a week until the last day I began cramping and the flow became bright red and heavy. I was at my boyfriend’s parent’s house which was far away from my family. They took me to the hospital where I ended up having a miscarriage. The doctor told me I had a blighted ovum. He said a blighted ovum is when the body produces a placenta, but no real baby grows. Emotionally I didn’t know where my heart was. I was devastated to lose the baby I had begun dreaming about, yet I was relieved that I could have a normal teenage life again. It was all very confusing for me.
My girlfriends all tried to be supportive, but again, my boyfriend was the only one who knew what I was going through. I began pulling further and further away from the old high school friends I had once loved and confided in. My life was never the same after that blighted ovum. I am now happily married to the man who went through those stressful weeks with me. I know that the pregnancy and miscarriage brought us closer a lot quicker than we would have gotten in a normal situation. I attribute the strong emotional bond we share to the trying experience we went through over those weeks.
I changed from having lots of girlfriends to hardly any at all. I had pulled away so much that it was hard to get back to where I was before I became pregnant. The female connection is missing in my life. It is something I will have to work hard to get back.
My blighted ovum that summer made me realize something very important. Nothing is worth doing if you do not give 100% effort all the time. I remember wishing I had taken more credits my freshman year so I wouldn’t have to work so hard when a baby arrived. That attitude took me to the Dean’s List each semester following the miscarriage.
Although I will always wonder what could have been, the blighted ovum I experienced changed my life forever. Whether it was good or whether it was bad, anything and everything that happens in life will effect you sometime in the future.