Kids often feel that as they grow older their parents are unwilling to give them more freedom. They just don’t feel that they are being treated fairly by their parents. As a parent you are just trying to protect your child. But could you possibly be overdoing it just a little? Sometimes even jumping to conclusions because your teenager has been spending a lot of time alone. Or maybe you have more than one child, which most families do, and your teenager is unable to have any privacy because of their younger siblings. Each child is different and privacy can mean different things to different people. The needs of teenagers often do vary; even girls privacy can be different from what boys consider privacy. Teenagers want and need a certain amount of privacy.
Teenagers are in the process of growing into adulthood, so it is natural for them to want some sort of independence or privacy. Teenagers sometimes use privacy as a way to put emotional distance between themselves and other family members. Privacy also helps out a basic human need. A little quiet time for a person can serve as a safeguard against the pressures of life. By not having enough privacy is can become a very stressful thing. Teenagers can become irritable, and if the situation gets worse they can sometimes become depressed. Some teenagers feel that when they are upset about something they would rather avoid being around people. Of course as a parent you want them to come to you and confide in you. But it is only natural for them to want to be alone for a certain period of time. Even research has proven that a moderate amount of solitude is beneficial. A book entitled Being Adolescent stated that: People need to be alone to develop their individuality. The author of this book actually studied 75 teenagers and recorded what they revealed after being in solitude for a period of time. In addition to being more alert, they were actually more cheerful.
Private time helps you to relax and feel calmer. Do you realize that teenagers are healthier both physically and emotionally if the have a sufficient amount of privacy. Teenagers also need to have some sort of outlet to let out their private thoughts, whether it is the mail, the phone or a private diary. As a parent you want to know it all and probably feel that you should be allowed access to these items. That would be true if you think that your child is in some sort of trouble. But if you have maintained an open relationship with your children you really do not have to worry about anything. Some parents have even intruded into their children’s diaries or snooping around their rooms, because they are suspicious and feel that they have been spending too much time behind closed doors. But is this really fair. Before doing this you may want to try talking to your child. To a teenager the behavior of their parents can seem to be too excessive.
Privacy can also be limited by your circumstances. Some families live in very crowded homes, and are forced to share a room with several of their siblings. Obviously this will cause numerous battles over who gets to use the space. One thing that you can do as a parent is to try to help your teenager make the most out of their given situation. Maybe even letting them relax in your room for a while, when you’re busy with the other siblings or cooking dinner. This way your teenager will know that you really care about them and want them to be able to have some time to themselves.