It is inevitable that when you get married you have in-laws. Everyone has heard the horror stories of in-laws. The in-law war is a war that has been going on since the beginning of time. Most people don’t realize that you don’t have to sign up for active duty in the in-law war. In fact there are ways that you can have a very meaningful and enjoyable relationship with your in-laws. This is also true for the ones that have already been serving active duty in the in-law war. Sometimes this will require you to make the first move toward a peace treaty though.
Your mother-in-law is overbearing and treats you like you are not good enough for their child. Step back and realize that she is a mother. Mothers will always do this because they are just that, Mothers. If you are a wife then one day you will be a mother if you are already not one. While realizing that she is a mother picture how you view your children. Seeing things from her viewpoint will help you to understand some of her behavior. Once you understand this then you can try to let something slid.
If you are a husband picture how you would like your wife to love your children. Try seeing the love that she has for her daughter and be understanding of this. Just because her little girl is grown up and now your wife that motherly love does not end. Let some of her behavior slid.
This falls for both if you are the husband or the wife in this relationship. Call on your mother-in-law for the things you would normally call your own mother for advice on. This will make her feel important and that you value her motherly advice. In doing this you will actually start to build a bond with your mother-in-law. This bond goes along way in getting out of the in-law war.
If you and your spouse find out that you are expecting a new baby do not call your parents. Instead wives call your mother-in-law and give her the news yourself. Husband’s you call your mother-in-law and you give her the news. By each of you calling the other one’s parents you will forge bonds with your mother-in-law. Most couples call their own parents during these great moments to share the news. Break this habit that other couples are in and do the unexpected. You mother-in-law should take this as a sign of love and respect from you and the two of you should be able to see each other in a whole new light.
Husbands seem to have problems with their father-in-laws as well. First husbands need to realize that before they married their wife her father was probably the greatest male influence in her life. When dealing with this try to look at how you would feel if a man came along and took your daughter away. Then treat your father-in-law the way you would one day like to be treated by your future son-in-law.
This goes for both wives and husbands. Call your father-in-law sometimes instead of your own father for some fatherly advice. Fathers are just like mothers they need to feel like they are still important and are needed. So call on your father-in-law and make him feel like you value his input as much as your own father’s input.
My husband has a great relationship with my father. When my husband needs help with stuff he calls on my father at times. The same goes for when my father needs help. There have been times that he has called on my husband for help. They spend time on the phone talking about similar interest that they have. I speak with my mother-in-law from time to time and have grown to really value her company and input on motherly things. We have avoided the in-law wars and it should not be to hard for other couples to do the same.