Monday: “You’re so helpful…I love that!”
Tuesday: “Why do you care? Why do you have to give an opinion on this? Why do you even CARE??!!”
There actually aren’t enough exclamation points on the last sentence but you get the drift. If you’re like a surprising high number of grooms, you’re not just sitting back letting your bride-to-be juggle details, contacts and dates for your wedding.
You’re actually helping out.
And probably getting your head patted and bitten off for it. But that’s okay, because you’re a tough guy and you can handle it.
Gone are the days when we as men sat around and just grunted at wedding suggestions. Contrary to popular belief the wedding is also OUR day. Now, one of the first tips later on will be NEVER ever take the day away from your fiancee. We share it but in a kind of secret unspoken way. I remember growing up watching the old sci-fi flicks with the giant lizard that would terrorize a city breathing dragon breath of radioactive death.
Now put it in a wedding dress and you’re all set. The loving sweet fun girl that you fell for has been replaced by an obsessed, panic-stricken creature that knows only how to go for the jugular and match colors with bouquets. But fear not, your loving girl is still there. Somewhere.
She’s buried under details, names, places, appointment dates and costs. You’re a nice guy so you start to help her. You make calls, you get prices and you get involved. She loves for your help on Monday and then blows fire on you for your opinion on Tuesday. Yes, it’s a crazy situation but who said getting married was completely a sane idea?
Here’s tips on how to survive her moodiness and sudden skill at driving you up the wall. Each tip is likened to elements of a typical guy’s interests:
Tip #1: Realize that she’s quarterbacking the Super Bowl and is liable to snap on her linemen. Assuming the position of bride-to-be is one of the most stressful jobs in history. Once the ring went on her finger, your girl stepped up to a limelight whether she wanted to or not. All eyes are on her and that includes all the focus and the pressure. It’s not about whether the receiver drops the pass before the end zone, everyone looks at the quarterback. Under tons of suggestions and unsolicited comments, she will snap. And it’ll probably be at you. Realize this is not the girl you fell for. It’s her tension and anxiety. Take it and go vent on your Xbox or weightbench.
Tip #2: Do not force results from the computer, give it data and wait for a prompt. When I was researching the various halls that we could use for our reception, I didn’t go back to my fiancee and tell her which one we were going to use. I did my digging, I prepped my information and I laid it out to her. Pros and cons of each location. I held back my decisions and choices. I waited. Moments later, she not only asked my opinion but expressed great need for it.
Tip #3: Learn when to put the dragon in its place. Your fair maiden will, at times, become a dragon. She’ll breathe fire and eat townsfolk. In other words, you incur her wrath for something probably small or out of your control. Take it with a grain of salt but do not become a doormat. There are lines to cross (I knew a guy who got engaged and told his fiancee that no matter what temper tantrum she’s having that if the ring ever came off, it stayed off) and these lines must be maintained. No faux break-up or pouty moments of running back to mommy. Let her know when she’s been mean, hurtful and downright nasty. You’ll take her stress not her abuse.
Tip #4: Keep the vehicle in maintenance and it’ll run as good as when you got it. A lot of couples stop being couples when planning a wedding and they become business partners. Keep dating your fiancee. But don’t tell her because she’ll fight you tooth-and-nail (and maybe fire, remember she’s a dragon!) Have nights out where there is absolutely no wedding talk. Your relationship must be maintained, tweaked and worked on. Long periods of high stress can suck out the love that you felt at the beginning. Don’t sit down with her and plan dates, take her out still. She’ll love you for it.
Tip #5: Explain to your batter your asking him to bunt is for the good of the team. If you disagree with her choices for financial, functional or whatever logical reasons explain yourself. More than likely she’s emotionally invested in that particular dee-jay or cake bakery. Your attempt to dissuade or select someone else will be viewed as being personal. Explain yourself politely and gently and well enough for her to know that you’re not taking anything from her day.
I hope that helps. Above all else remember, the best way to handle a bridezilla is to love her. And get a flame-proof tux.