If you suspect your spouse is cheating, there are steps you should take in order to determine if your suspicions are correct, or if it is a matter of your imagination running away with you. You should not confront your spouse. If your spouse is cheating, he or she will simply allow time for things to cool down or take better steps cover the trail. Ultimately, you may have to hire a private investigator. But before you take that costly step, here are some useful tips on how to tell if your spouse is cheating.
1. Check your spouse’s cell phone. First of all, does your spouse tend to keep his or her cell phone out of your reach? That in and of itself can be a sign. Does your spouse tend to whisper while on the cell phone? Does your spouse give short and quick answers and abruptly hang up? These too can be signs of a cheating spouse. When the cell phone is within your reach, take a look at your spouse’s Contacts. Check your spouse’s Call History. Write down some of the numbers you find, especially if they appear frequently and at odd times like right before or after work. If you cannot gain access to your spouse’s cell phone, get your hands on their bill, which usually lists all numbers dialed in a monthly period. Has your spouse gone paperless? Find a way to access your spouse’s wireless account online. Watch your spouse pay their bill and jot down their username and password.
2. Search your spouse’s vehicle. Look for receipts, odd items that wouldn’t belong, like a scrunchy in your husband’s vehicle or a money clip in your wife’s. Are the seats in odd positions, pushed back too far or pulled forward too close to the dash? Jot down the vehicle’s mileage and keep tabs on it.
3. Keep an eye on the finances. Check out bank statements and credit card bills. In addition to obvious signs like hotel bills, look for more subtle signs like restaurant charges. Is this $50 restaurant charge for one entree or for two? If you don’t know the restaurant, check it out online or call to find out their menu prices. Has your spouse been purchasing small or large gifts for members of the opposite sex? If so, and if you haven’t been on the receiving end of these gifts, your spouse may very well be cheating.
4. Be aware of changes in your spouse’s behavior. Is your spouse suddenly purchasing an odd amount of new clothes? New underwear? New perfume or new cologne? Does your spouse suddenly seem uncharacteristically obsessed with their appearance? Has your spouse changed their hairstyle? Is your husband suddenly insisting on washing his own clothes? Is your wife suddenly wearing hats when she never before did?
5. Is your spouse acting more attentive? If your spouse is suddenly more attentive, more affectionate, more generous, it could be a sign that your spouse is cheating. Is your spouse giving you flowers for no apparent reason? Gifts? Making dinner when your spouse never before did?
6. Has your sex life suddenly changed? Is your spouse requesting or initiating sex more or less frequently than usual? Is your spouse making odd requests? If so, it could be a sign your spouse is cheating.
7. Look for telltale physical signs. Remember that old song, “Lipstick on your collar told the tale on you!”? Check out his collars. Search her laundry. Look for telltale signs that your spouse is cheating. Does your wife’s laundry smell like a man’s cologne? Do your husband’s undershirts smell like a woman’s perfume?
If any of these signs feel familiar, monitor your spouse for a period of no less than two weeks. Then, if your suspicions are bolstered, begin your search for a private investigator.