The Darwin Awards are all about improving the gene pool. Darwin Awards are given to those “who improve the species by accidentally removing themselves from it, thereby ensuring that the next generation is one idiot smarter,” as stated on the official Darwin Awards website. Therefore, to win a Darwin Award, you must eliminate yourself from the gene pool. However, you must do more than just that. Read on to see how you can win a Darwin Award.
Get Out of the Gene Pool!
To even be considered, you must remove yourself from the gene pool. In most cases, this means that your award winning stunt will cause you to expire. However, you could just end up unable to reproduce and still win a Darwin Award. If you already have children, fear not. Even though you must be rendered incapable of reproduction to win an award, you’ll still eligible to win if you have kids. Your kids may or may not have inherited the gene for your stupid stunt, and therefore you might not have passed it on yet.
It’s Not Hard to Do, Even an Idiot Can Win!
Okay, so actually, you pretty much have to be an idiot to win. You must show an “astounding misapplication of judgment” to be considered. If you die doing something that kills many people, you’re not likely to win a Darwin Award for it. Even if you’re doing something really stupid, like climbing into a pen with alligators, if too many other people have done it, it’s not award worthy. This basically means that if you see a warning label for it, it isn’t going to win you a Darwin Award. Yes, that means drinking bleach is out. Dying doing something you saw on Jackass however, might just be okay.
Be the Cause of Your Own Demise
This one isn’t hard to do. If you’re the idiot, you’re going to cause your own demise. If someone else accidently kills you, that really doesn’t reflect badly on you and your genes (unless it says that your genes for picking people to hang out with aren’t the greatest). Make sure you don’t kill innocent bystanders though, or you’ll be disqualified. Killing others with your stupid stunts just isn’t cool.
Are You Capable of Sound Judgment?
If you aren’t capable of sound judgment, you can’t win a Darwin Award. While this may seem to make winning a Darwin Award impossible (afterall, if someone had sound judgment, it seems like they wouldn’t have a chance at winning), this restriction isn’t as tough to meet as you may think. Having sound judgment basically means that you are mature (age wise at least). Children can’t win Darwin Awards, as it just isn’t funny to see children die no matter how you look at it. If you have some type of mental condition which causes you to have unsound judgment, you are not eligible for a Darwin Award.
The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth
While it would be fun for your friends to exaggerate the story of your demise to ensure that you’ll win, that’s simply not allowed. The event must be verified to quality for a Darwin Award. Don’t worry if your demise can’t be verified however, as you could still appear in a book as an unverified Darwin Award or Honorable Mention. If your idiotic stunt earned you many rumors and some fame, you may end up listed as an urban legand instead.
So How Do You Know If You Won?
Well, that’s the downside to this award. You probably won’t be around to know that you won. Unless of course, you sterilized yourself, in which case you’d still be alive to receive your award. Don’t worry though, your friends and family will see your name mentioned in the next book if you happen to receive a Darwin Award.
So now you know how to win a Darwin Award. If you need some inspiration, read one of the books. Even if you have no desire to receive this honorable award, at least you’ll get some good laughs out of these books (or maybe you won’t, some people just have a hard time laughing at the demise of others). You never know, you may end up nominating someone else. However, if you do win intentionally, what does that say about your genes?