Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading comics but when I listen to Joe Buck say things I can’t help but listen. During game 2 of the World Series, more specifically the pre-game show, he said “JOE CREDE WANTS TO MAKE A NAME FOR HIMSELF”. And the way it was said was with such a compelling tone that I couldn’t help but think that it might be some sort of subliminal message. Then I heard the woman announcer, fortunately I can’t remember her name. I’m waiting for her name to pop up on the screen again.
I’m starting to see my life as a lens as a means of creating art, which I assume is one of the main implications of art. Did I forget that idea, meaning that I knew at one point? I feel like I have forgotten, it’s weird. My life is a piece of art; it is how I will create the rest of my life. I think I was called to monitor it, but don’t believe in my own skills to accommodate how capable I must be to perform what I choose to do. I would love to write for a living, and capture the feeling that somebody is feeling what I’m trying to convey. But I don’t see that I have the sheer talent and tenacity to go and get “it”. And by getting “it” I mean capturing the moment to be appreciated. People always try and tell me that I have “it” but if I did, I think I would have felt “it”. I think I know subconsciously that I don’t know what I want, and it makes me feel so incredibly lost. It might be because of how I lost my train of thought and skipped in the connection of my ideas. I can’t stay focused on anything long enough to get real detailed knowledge of any individual topic.
All because of Joe Buck, who would have thunk it is what I originally thought, but there’s more to it than that. Why did what Joe Buck said spur all of this crazy thought? Now they have Lou Rawles singing the national anthem. Everybody in the stadium is going crazy. I like to think that I’m not into right now because I don’t like the way we conduct ourselves but it’s still an eerily powerful moment. When you feel so much of a nation bonding in one moment together you definitely feel something. There’s an energy connected to that moment, and everyone on that brain wave feels it. There are plenty of people on that brain wave too, especially when you see that flag and hear the poignantly strong voice like his.
These commercials are so useless, but give you the effect of being shuttled through an experience. It’s almost like you base your life on the purchases you make. They have everything for every way of life’s means nowadays, and you can be classified into so many categories. Everything you do files you more specifically into the niche that you can be known by. Whatever the purpose for it is I don’t know but I just can’t help but feel numbed by it all. Half of the TV programs out there are absolute crap and you see the trends that follow in the shows. These trends show how people are responding, so it can be interpreted as a reflection of several aspects of society.
I have peered into the life of another mindset. I was at a total loss for words on how to describe it. I feel I will never fulfill my own potential, and I also feel that I was letdown. I don’t feel I ever really got the feeling from anyone as of where to go with my life. Ultimately, through all the caring teachers I passed through, and I had some really good teachers, I don’t feel I got pushed to know who I am by any of them. I was told what I needed to know, but I couldn’t feel who I was. I was never compelled to find who I am, but instead who they want me to be. Isn’t that ultimately how people are able to live their lives? We are forced to find out on our own and I know many of us don’t have a real idea how. I imagine it’s just how you tackle life, but sometimes it feels force fed more than a choice of my own. I can’t listen to much of anything anymore without an incredible pessimistic shade. It’s just the mindset I’m in at this time. My lens of life, and therefore art.