For many women, finding a great guy is hard to do. They feel they can’t seem to catch anyone’s attention, or even worse, they seem to be attracting the wrong type of guy. Did you know this could be happening because of your body language?
What you say isn’t as important as what your body says. Every time you interact with a person, there is more going on that the things you say verbally. Are you unknowingly telling the wrong guy to come and get you? Or even worse, are you telling the right guy that you are not interested?
The tricky thing about body language is that it differs between men and women, and this is where much of the confusion begins. Most body language signals are done automatically without a thought, and this can be the root of your problem.
Even worse, concentrating on your body language may make you seem stiff and uncomfortable. If you are worried you are sending the wrong message, pick a few key things you may be doing wrong, and try to change them. This will take some effort because our bodily responses and movements are deeply ingrained.
Hair and Neck
Do you have long hair? Do you have a habit of flinging it back over your shoulder when it gets in your way? This move can be very suggestive. This move is often viewed as flirting. This also exposes the neck, another big sign that says you are interested.
In many cases, crossed arms send the signal that you are closed off. To a man, it may look like a huge ‘do not enter’ sign. Many times women feel uncomfortable with a situation and they unconsciously cross their arms across their chest. This also happens when a women is self conscious about the size of her chest.
If this is a habit of yours, try to stop doing it. This may be one of the biggest reasons men won’t approach you. In other cases, this is a great tool to say you are not interested when the wrong guy is checking you out.
What makes this particular body language sign tricky is that not all eye contact is created equal. When a man or a woman is interested in what they see, they make eye contact. Some women are bold, and will smile when the eye contact is made. This signal is easy, straight to the point, and very effective.
A shy woman may only hold contact for a second and will look away. If you are too shy to hold contact with someone you are interested in, repeat it a few times. About the third time a man catches you looking at him, he should get the message loud and clear. Even better, dip your forehead slightly, look down to the floor, and than back to him.
Arms and Legs
If you want a guy to be interested, you have to be open to him. You probably do this without realizing it, and you are probably not aware of how well others pick up on it. When a woman crosses her legs, that can mean ‘back off buddy’ but watch where your toe points. If your toes are pointing at him, he may see that as you pointing at something you want: him.
In order to use body language to convey openness, you don’t have to think about it too hard. Open palms and open arms are welcoming. Leaning into his space and squaring your shoulders in his direction are also open signals. If he’s not your cup of tea, turn away, cross your legs, and angle your entire body away. A persistent suitor may not completely give up at that point, but he will start to get the message.
Touching Me, Touching You
Touch is powerful, and is a very strong body language cue for both sexes. It’s very simple. If you like him, touch him. A light touch on the arm or shoulder is a huge sign that you want to get to know him better. If you aren’t brave enough to touch him just yet, touch something of his that he has nearby.
Along the same lines, touch yourself. Just don’t get carried away please. I don’t mean turn into a bawdy bar wench, I mean touch your hair, straighten your blouse, your skirt, fidget nervously with your purse strap, or just put your fingers up near your neck. Women and men both draw attention to their lips and other assets by just bringing their hands near them. This is accomplished by putting their fingers near their mouth, or on their belt buckles or hips. These are all great ‘I like you’ body language cues.
Lick Your Lips
Again, use sparingly. This is a very hard body language sign to try consciously. You may end up looking cheap. When a woman licks her lips, it’s often means she’s interested. In other cases, it might just mean she has dry lips, but why worry about that if you aren’t interested? If you try this one purposely, it might end up coming off as a very direct invitation to go to bed.
The most powerful tool you have is your smile. A bright smile that shows your teeth and reaches your eyes will convey that you are interested, and that what you see pleases you. There are so many variations to the human smile, but most people can read each one with amazing accuracy. Does she like me? Is she just being nice? Is she just being polite? These are all answered with a smile.
Don’t try too hard, and don’t depend entirely on your body language to convey interest. Some men are shy, and you may just have to walk over and introduce yourself. Remember that body language is never about just one thing; it’s always a combination of many signs we read instantly and without thought. Use it to your advantage, or simply let nature take it’s course.