Lure of The Old Navy Sale
The sales at Old Navy, long after holiday sales should have been over, lured me into the depths of cargo pants and hooded sweatshirts, and unexpectedly, bikini brief land. I certainly didn’t have any direction or purchasing decisions in mind when I entered, and didn’t expect to come out with the Old Navy Sport Bikini Brief.
Previous Old Navy Underwear Experience
Old Navy underwear, for the most part, is surprisingly non-descript. Their boxers are mostly starchy, and come in a dizzying array of colors and patterns, but nothing that makes them distinctly Old Navy pairs of boxers. The hearts and paisley were cute, but nothing more than a slight modification on the old standards found in department stores.
Their boxer briefs and briefs are grey, white, or black, with an Old Navy imprinted along the waistband. While I have found them comfortable and generally last a long time, they are just plain briefs, tried and true. They won’t bunch up, they won’t ride down, they’ll just be plain underwear, and a bit boring at that.
Trip Towards the Old Navy Sport Bikini Brief
So, there I am, searching through some surprisingly trendy jeans for Old Navy, and thumbing through the legendary Old Navy polo shirts when I spot a much better sale rack than the one I’m currently perusing. I emerged a bit flabbergasted with sweatpants that will cost less than four bucks if they fit me. These are the ones that have pockets, and large waistbands, and no elastic band at the ankle. I’m holding a nice blue pair that are the male version of the popular female sweat that should never be worn out in public because I can totally see your panty line and you look like you just rolled out of bed and are on your way to a yoga class.
Locating the Old Navy Sport Bikini Brief
Regardless of the merits of the sweatpants, I emerge from the sweatpants rack and am headed towards the changing room when I see the messiest spot in all of Old Navy history. It’s an underwear rack where a tornado hit, certainly. There is far more underwear on the floor than there is on the rack. Most of it has been orphaned from its packaging! This certainly isn’t very appealing, but I see a price tag, and I decide I have to look a bit closer. There, on the floor, in its packaging, is an Old Navy Black Sport Bikini Brief in my size. Nobody is around to watch me locate them and inspect the packaging for tampering, so I am quite pleased. I have no qualms about wearing bikini underwear in my home, or in front of my significant other, but the only stranger finding out about my bikini underwear is the cashier, and they likely won’t remember the next time I come shopping.
Wearing the Old Navy Sport Bikini Brief: The Waistband
The waistband didn’t have much give in it when it came out of its package. A waistband is typically quite elastic, from my experience. These bikini briefs were not very elastic at all. The ripping sound of the tight stitching was not comforting as I pulled them up my legs. I thought for sure by the time I’d gotten them on, that they would have unraveled entirely, but they survived the pull up.
Wearing the Old Navy Sport Bikini Brief: The Front and Side
I wasn’t in for a pleasant surprise when they went on. The front of the brief appeared just like a normal brief would, sitting much higher on my waist than a bikini brief typically would. The length of the leg was also a bit surprising, ending much further down my thighs than a bikini typically would. Sport briefs are typically quite small at the thighs, and some brands I’ve worn have had only the elastic waistband with no fabric around the upper thigh. I immediately thought I had put them on backwards.
Wearing the Old Navy Sport Bikini Brief: The Back
Contributing to the feeling that I had placed my new bikini briefs on backwards was that the back felt like it was higher than the front. It wasn’t a full out wedgie, creeping up my backside, but it didn’t feel that secure in its place, or that it covered all of my cheeks. The elastic surrounding the legs just didn’t seem that tight, and in fact, was quite a bit wider than most pairs of underwear I have owned. It made for a more seamless look, and probably should have been more comfortable, but it just seemed to fall in the wrong place on my behind.
Conclusion on the Old Navy Sport Bikini Brief
This bikini brief is soft, with a stylish waistband stating “Old Navy Sport.” Unfortunately, the styling of the Old Navy Sport Bikini Brief seems ill-conceived with its lower than normal thigh landing and higher than normal backside landing. Additionally, it’s implementation seems untested with the ripping sound of the tight stitching. Your mileage may vary, as we’re all different sizes and shapes, but the Old Navy Sport Bikini Brief just flat out didn’t work very well for me. I’ll be sticking to their boxer briefs and traditional briefs for now.