Millions of people suffer from a low libido – or an inhibited sex drive – at one point or another; sometimes it lasts for only a few days, while for others it is a life-long struggle. Libido can be influenced by genetics, environment, mental and emotional states, the quality of a relationship and hundreds of other factors that might make it difficult to “get in the mood”. Even age can affect the libido in a man or a woman.
The most frustrating instance of low libido is when the individual has no idea why. Sometimes libido can fluxuate based on factors that are not immediately obvious, or perhaps there are no concrete reasons for the change. Psychological issues are much more difficult to pinpoint than physical problems, and may elude the sufferer for months or even years. However, in order to overcome a bout of low libido, the individual must examine his or her lifestyle and try to change the factors that might be influencing his or her sex drive.
Psychological reasons for a low libido can include anxiety, stress, depression, fatigue, and a host of other possible issues. When an individual is focused on a problem at home or at work, or when the body is affected by depression or anxiety, sex is the furthest thing from the mind. It can be difficult to focus on someone else – such as a sexual partner – because the brain is too wrapped up in its own concerns.
This can be especially difficult for a man because men are taught by society to believe that they always want sex, no matter the time or circumstance. A man who is unable to get in the mood, and is thus experiencing a low libido, will be further distracted by thoughts of his own inadequacies, which will further complicate the issue. Belittlement from his partner will also make things worse, and he might feel as though he is less of a man. This couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Women who suffer from low libido might also be further distressed by feelings of estrangement from her sexual partner. Sex is an important part of any relationship – whether or not it is being “had” – and a change in sexual activity between two people will almost always cause some sort of secondary problem. A low libido will not only affect the intimacy between two people, but will also result in less frequent sexual fantasies, less frequent masturbation and a decrease in the desire to initiate sex.
If you have noticed a decrease in your libido, the first thing to do is visit your physician. Make sure that the problem is not physical first, because a physical problem might be the easiest to fix. A sudden dip in horomones, the affects of a prescription drug and other factors might be the reason for a low libido, and these problems can be immediately rectified.
If, however, you find no physical reason for your low libido, the problem is most likely emotional or psychological.
Take a few days to examine your daily lifestyle and to try and pinpoint any reasons why you might be experiencing low libido. Self image, anxiety about the act itself, frustrations with another part of the relationship and depression might all play a factor in low libido. If you are unable to come up with the answer on your own, counseling might be your next best bet. Couples therapy and single therapy might help you to put your sex life under the microscope and come up with answers that can help to increase your libido.
And finally, libido differs from one person to the next, and this is something that can be easily forgotten. A man or a woman who derives pleasure from sex but who wants it less often is not necessarily having a problem. Some people want sex five or six times each day, while others might enjoy it only once per week. Open lines of communication between partners is essential so that the sex life can be improved.