I guess I was just in a sequel-watchin`/-reviewin`
mood the day I wrote this-it was GREASE 2 (with Michelle
Pfeiffer) later that night … I didn’t review it that night,
`coz ‘Daddy’s had to go to “meeetings,” honey,’
but if I remembered it later, I reviewed it then!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: the Secret of the Ooze (1991)
Good Enough for Math Class
I want to show that I’m consistently impersonal like that, a bit of an equation to figure out what I ought to make the visual score:
The system I’m working? F=1, D-=2, D=3, D+=4, C-=5, C=6,C+=7, B-=8, B=9, B+=10, A-=11, A=12, A+=13. That set, we can go on with my ‘rating.’
To start with, I gave the whole movie a C+. Then I decided to write this critique, at which point Yahoo! (the ever-blest) asked me to individually rate some individual qualities of the movie: Story, Acting, Direction, and Visuals – pre-supposing my overall rating would still be C+.
I started giving the ratings in the usual manner: communicating ‘how good’ I thought the movie was in each of the qualities:
Story as ‘mediocre’ because (though it probably deserved a D-, being mostly pre-written from the ideas set forth in earlier franchise installments) I really didn’t think the writers deserved any of the automatically accompanying comments.
Acting was terrible because you never got the feeling that the actors actually believed the stuff would really happen.
‘Direction’ was where I slowed down a little, because judging that seems like judging the administrative power of the guy in the director’s chair, when what evidence you have is actually both that and the choice to follow or not made by each-and-every cast-/crew-member, AND the abilities of each.
But, in order to be consistent, I had to insert something to make the average a ‘C+.’ And the movie was almost-prettymuch put-together …plus, the wisdom of running-through a well-done franchise deserves SOME acknowledgement … so ‘B’ it was!
That brings us to the visuals. ‘Visuals’ is a quality that always tarnishes with age … I remember the California Raisins … but Idon’t want my review to tarnish my ‘image.’ (I don’t wanna be one of those ‘average citizens amazed by the flying whirygigs.’) So I’m leaving that quality up to the formula …
(6 + 1 + 9 + x) / 4 = 7
6 + 1 + 9 + x = 28
x = 12 = A
Currently listening :
Never Been to Spain (Until Now)
By El Vez
Release date: By 14 May, 1996