Ok, I am going to tell one of the biggest secrets of all time. First of all it is not mine, none of my secrets could ever compare to this one. The only secrets I have involve going out late one night and teepeeing one of my friend’s houses for revenge. (he never found out who did it). What’s interesting about that? Absolutely nothing; that is exactly why I have decided to tell this secret. One night, while sitting at dinner, my husband decided to come clean about one of his crazy childhood memories. He prepped me up and told me that he had never told a soul about this crazy experience, and that I was the only other person in the world besides him that would have any knowledge of this occurrence. He choked down a few bites of food and then began to spill the beans.
He said, one day while he was on a reservation in South Dakota, he went to visit a friend’s farm. He recalls being about 11 years old at the time; and he couldn’t remember exactly where his friend had disappeared off to, however, he remembers getting on his bike and riding around to check things out. He said that his friend had a horse and when he rode past the horse on his bike, it got excited, I mean REALLY excited. He said that the horse got an immediate erection and it started chasing him around on the bike. The horse must have thought that the bike was another horse or something really appealing because it started to snort like crazy. He said that he was so afraid at this point because, for one he had never seen anything like a horse’s penis and two he didn’t really understand what was going on. He said that the horse literally chased him down and then bit the front of his bike in a very aggressive manner. He was so startled he jumped off the bike very quickly, and just in time too. The estranged horse picked the bike up with its’ mouth and threw it violently down onto the ground.
By this time, he was so freaked out he didn’t know what to do. The only thing he did know was how important it would be to get his bike back from the horse. Once the horse saw that the bike was not standing up or moving anymore, it began to lose interest in it. He waited patiently for the horse to walk away from the bike; when it did, he made his move. He ran and jumped on his bike and began peddling as fast as he could. The horse started back on its’ rampage, popping an erection and then chasing him down. But he said by the second time; he refused to stick around to see what would happen next. He dipped out and never looked back, or told a soul, until that very funny night at dinner when I laughed so hard I could have peed my pants.