A rule of thumb in the movie going world is to beware of any horror movie that isn’t released anywhere from late September right up to Halloween. And any horror movie released in January or February is likely to be very bad indeed. This month alone we have already seen “The Hitcher,” a very bad remake of a very bad original.
Now comes “Blood and Chocolate,” a very bad werewolf film being dumped on the film market on the basis of, apparently, a very good novel (unread by me) on which the film is based. Unfortunately, the novel by Annette Curtis Klause resembles the film in title only. Ardent fans of the novel are quite angry that the filmmakers are even bothering to use the book’s title for a very bad horror movie.
The film tells the story of a young novelist who travels to Romania (where, of course, most writers – even of the graphic variety, go to get inspiration) and falls in love with a sexy young woman named Vivian. There’s one problem with Vivian – you’re way ahead of me here right? She’s a werewolf. For Aiden, the writer, that doesn’t prove to be as much of a problem as one might think because, after all, Vivian is hot with a capital H. Unfortunately this PG-13 rated horror film doesn’t get down to brass tacks in that department so we are left to trust Aiden’s instincts. I’m sure you can see the problems.
“Blood and Chocolate” proves once and for all that a man will excuse any faults in a woman as long as she is sexy and willing.
The film also shows how lazy filmmakers have become with the advent of computer technology. The least you expect from a werewolf movie is at least one terrific transformation scene where the helpless man screams and tears his clothes apart as he becomes the vicious lycanthrope. The makers of “Blood and Chocolate” don’t even offer us that one small pleasure. Here we see people leap into the air in slow motion that are then obscured by a glowing light, and when they land again they are werewolves. This is cheapness on a film level not seen since the heyday of B horror movies in the 1950’s.
The acting is generally of the lowbrow variety though the performers are attractive. It just happens that when they have to recite their lines all the magic of their charisma runs out quickly. It’s tantamount to having a one-night stand with an “attractive” partner and then waking up in the morning to see what they really look like.
Olivier Martinez, best known as Diane Lane’s lover in “Unfaithful,” tries to appear menacing but speaks in such broken English you end up struggling to understand what he is trying to say, completely forgetting who and what he is all about.
“Blood and Chocolate” continues the trend of studios dumping its bad movies into theaters in January. That gives them a chance to try to lure audiences who have seen all the Christmas movies and Academy Award films into seeing something inferior simply because movie lovers love going to the movies. This is a bad film made by people who have contempt for their audience.
If you must spend money on this name, read the novel on which this is based and give your hard earned dollar to the creator who at least cared about the material.