Raising girls in a single parent home can be a challenging time for a single mom. With issues of finances, emotions, education and, even, fashion, many women find they struggle to connect with their daughters especially when they become teenagers themselves.
For many single moms, the discussion of sex and the dynamics of relationships are often on either end of the spectrum; the single mother either discusses everything with her daughter or the single mother discusses nothing. To encourage a healthy mother and daughter relationship, it is important to set boundaries and identify what discussions are appropriate with the daughter and what discussions should be avoided.
Promiscuity is a huge concern for single mothers as they raise their teenager daughters. While many child therapists would argue that a girl of a single parent home tends to be more promiscuous, this simply is not the case. In fact, girls of single parent homes often are more educated in the life long complications associated with sex and promiscuity and, as a result, tend to make smarter choices in terms of their own sexuality.
Along these same concerns, single mothers often struggle with their own personal relationships involving dating and sex and to what degree their daughters should be privy to the details of their relationships and knowledge about sexual activity. Just as when we are married, our sexual experiences are intimate experiences that should be shared with our spouse. As a single mother, sharing those experiences, in detail, in most cases is not appropriate as it is not a discussion for anyone outside of your relationship with the significant other. While teenage daughters will encounter the day we prepare for our own dates, it is beneficial for single moms to take that opportunity to discuss the dynamics of relationships with their daughters before heading out on a dinner date. However, discussions should be limited to only the very essential basic facts about the date and dating in general and not provide intimate details.
And, finally, for many teenager daughters there is an overwhelming need to feel loved and accepted by men. For this reason, it is crucial that the father of your daughter be involved in her life as much as possible. When this is not possible, seek out positive male role models who can engage your daughter in activities. For example, if your teenage daughter is interested in art, find a male art teacher who can offer that missing piece of guidance and support she may so desire in her life. In finding positive male role models for our daughters we will provide her with positive male influence which may, in turn, prevent her from looking elsewhere for the same attention.
All in all, single parenting is hard. There is nothing easy about it. Although, as a single parent, you can take great pride in the achievements of your children as they are your own. Raising well adjusted kids should be key focuses of your life and, in doing so, these same children will, one day, take care of you in return.