The 2006 movie season has come to an end and as is the case each year, there were plenty of good movies and plenty of bad movies.
This is a list of the 10 worst films of 2006. These are films that should be avoided at all costs. You should not rent them on DVD nor should you lose up to two hours of your life when they hit cable television.
These 10 films aren’t the only bad movies but represent the worst of the worst. There are others that deserve mention (and will be) and should be equally avoided. They just happen to be not quite as bad as the aforementioned 10.
Here is the list of also rans in the bad movie category:
FAILURE TO LAUNCH
THE GRUDGE 2
THE HILLS HAVE EYES
JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE
THE PINK PANTHER
THE SHAGGY DOG
YOU, ME AND DUPREE
And now here are the ten worst films of 2006 listed in order of worthlessness:
1) DATE MOVIE – The worst film of the year is another one of those spoofs of other movies. Here the target is romantic comedies, particularly “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” The film has not a single laugh and even though it aims low it still misses the target every time. Any film comedy of the year is better then this one.
2) HOSTEL – Eli Roth’s thriller is one of the sickest movies I have had the displeasure of witnessing. The story centers on a group of teenagers in a foreign country who are kidnapped and used as guinea pigs in an underground business where people pay top dollar to torture and kill people in any manner they wish. And trust me we see many different and sick ways people are tortured. This is more a geek show then a movie and avoids being the worst movie of the year simply because it’s first 30 minutes does a fairly good job of setting up the story without even hinting at how sick it is going to be. The worst part is that teenagers made it a big enough hit that a sequel is due out this spring.
3) RUNNING WITH SCISSORS – One of the most depressing movies in recent memory is this drama based on a true story about a mentally ill woman who gives her teenage son to her shrink and soon the son discovers the shrink is even more dysfunctional then his mother. Each seen is filled with sadness and anger with the most unpleasant characters you are likely to ever see in one movie. Veteran actress Jill Clayburgh is the only actor to come out of this mess unscathed but Annette Bening goes way over the top. This was truly a sad experience at the movies.
4) SCARY MOVIE 4 – Much like the previous three movies in this ridiculously successful series, part 4 lampoons most of the major movies of the last year and fails to score any major laughs. As is normal with this series, the filmmakers enjoy going for the gross out joke as opposed to trying to earn a laugh with some wit.
5) THE BENCHWARMERS – What happens when you take three of the most unlikable actors and put them into one movie? What do you think? Rob Schneider, David Spade and Jon (Napoleon Dynamite) Heder star as friends who form a baseball team and take on a bunch of kids in baseball games. And it is even dumber then is sounds. Plus we are forced to try to believe that Schneider is married to a woman who must have won dozens of beauty contests and all she wants is to have his baby. Are you kidding me?
6) THE WICKER MAN – Probably the worst movie of the year that absolutely no one saw stars Nicolas Cage as a cop trying to track down a missing child. This film is an incomprehensible mess from the start to its ludicrously funny conclusion.
7) BLACK CHRISTMAS – The worst slasher film of the year is this remake of the 1974 thriller about college frat girls stuck at school on Christmas Eve during a blizzard and being bumped off one by one. Director Glen Morgan has no imagination with this film and simply introduces his cardboard characters before killing them off. He wisely shows us the history of how the killer got to be who he is but fails to make it interesting. The sickest part is that this gore fest opened on Christmas Day. Ho-ho-ho.
8) PULSE – Just another teenagers in danger movie with college kids trying to solve the mystery of their friend’s death and some mysterious messages from “the other side.” The film is slow and dull.
9) LITTLE MAN – Another dud from the talented Wayans family who has yet to top their success from television’s In Living Color. Much like their last dud, “White Chicks,” the Wayans are in love with their concept and do little with it. Here is the story of a crook that happens to be a little person, who poses as a baby to retrieve a diamond from a robbery. There are plenty of flatulence and burp jokes for those who will laugh at just about anything.
10) NACHO LIBRE – With “School of Rock,” Jack Black proved that he could carry a movie with a smart and funny script. With this movie he proves that his shtick can only go so far with a stupid script. There are long, deadly patches where nothing happens and when it does you almost force yourself to laugh by its audacity. Black would be better suited in supporting roles for better films.