Be honest: Do you regift?
Now that the holidays are over, we all go through the sorting of what we really want, like and need. What’s left over are gifts best kept behind in dollar store bargain bins or forgotten at shabby flea markets. Maybe they’re not your cup of tea – or anyone else’s for that matter. Fruitcakes we’re never going to eat, sweaters we’re never going to wear or Kevin Federline CD’s we’re never going to listen to – things so bizarre they stump us. We don’t want them. We don’t need them. Frankly, nobody really wants these misfit gifts. What to do?
The concept of “re-gifting” is hot the past few years. In truth, it’s probably been going on a lot longer, but only recently it’s become so widespread that well, we’re writing articles on it. Yesterday on “The Today Show”, Meredith Viera interviewed an etiquette expert on the subject. She asked all sorts of questions about the polite way to re-gift, how to accomplish it subtly and on and on. For many of us, it’s just too much work! Here’s my alternative. Re-Lifting!
What is re-lifting? Simply put, re-lifting is locating and getting the gift you SHOULD have gotten and replacing it with that awful something you don’t want. Skeptical? It sounds illicit? Trust me, it works and it’s no more illegal than the crime that was committed against you when you got the bad gift in the first place.
I’ll set the scene. You’re invited over to a friend’s post holiday party. It’s sort of a “get rid of all the fattening things” type of bash. So take along that bottle of champagne, but don’t forget the gift you wish to “exchange.” The party’s winding down, all the goodies are history. It’s the perfect time to target the gift you want. Look around, it’s not hard. You spot a crystal decanter. It’s perfect for your bar. Right alongside, stands the most incredible Hummel figure. You swear it’s calling to you. How do you decide?
Re-lifting defines the art of cautious replacing. Other partygoers start admiring your host’s new, but looks old tablecloth, courtesy of the never ending brilliance of Martha Stewart – now’s your chance. Make your move, re-lifter! Lift the desired object – or objects – then hide them in that oversized tote bag you brought. Without missing a beat, re-lift the unwanted gifts. Presto! Now where a crystal decanter once stood, a passable depiction of the Eiffel tower sculpted of pasta now stands. Sweet success, re-lifter!
Now for all those out there who are thinking, “That’s so wrong!” I’ll submit to you the marvelous legend of the changeling. In ancient times, children would go missing and a “creature” would take the little tot’s place. Isn’t this a lot better than that?
Now excuse me, the friend I last re-lifted just called. She’s threatening to press charges if I don’t relinquish her antique music box. I re-lifted her a glass chess set from Target. That’s a fair exchange, don’t you think?