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The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore; A Book Review

by sumo nova

Author’s Note inside Lust Lizard: My thanks to… all those people who were willing to share their experiences with antidepressants and other psychotropic drugs – you know who you are, you crazy fucks.

Having read the majority of Christopher Moore’s delightfully sick books, I have become quite fond of the wackos who reside in Pine Cove, CA best. We first met them in Moore’s debut novel Practical Demonkeeping and saw them last in The Stupidest Angel. Somewhere in between these two, this fine bunch of lunatics had to deal with The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove.

Steve is a shape-shifting dragon who, much like Lars, has a 7-foot long dick (only Lars’s doesn’t keep changing color…) Steve is horny. Steve sees a bright, shiny silver tanker truck and falls in love immediately. The tanker truck doesn’t take too well to Steve’s over-zealous humping and explodes, starting much mayhem and side-splitting humor in Pine Cove.

Getting blown up had put the Sea Beast in a deep blue funk.

Seems the mere presence of Steve causes horniness to break out everywhere. Couple that with the local shrink pairing up with the local pharmacist (who happens to be carrying on with a blow-up dolphin) to swap psychotropics for placebos and well, all hell breaks loose.

After the last patient, she’d come out of her office to find her new receptionist, Chloe, furiously masturbating, her feet hooked onto the edge of the desk, her steno chair squeaking like a tortured squirrel.

Luckily for some (not so lucky for others), the local headcase, Molly (aka Warrior Babe of the Outlands), can sorta understand what Steve is thinking… now if she can just resist the urge to try to accommodate that 7 foot dick. Ouch! This is where a certain weedwhacker comes into play… I’ll let you use your imaginations on that one. Just don’t blame me if you have torrid nightmares.

Imagine a slow slide down a long, slippery banister…

Moore is a master of the sick twist, laugh-til-ya-cry brand of fiction. There is a proliferation of naughty words and even naughtier situations. My kinda guy! He has a very easy, kinda casual writing style which makes this a breeze to read. You’ll want to go through those 304 pages in one sitting, I’m warning you now. Not only that, but this one will have you laughing out loud uproariously and bugging everyone around you with your constant urge to quote lines from the book. It’s funny as hell.

One thing I love about Moore, besides his warped since of humor, is that he makes his chapters short with even shorter breaks within each which makes it easy to find a stopping point if you really must.

And now, something I think I’ll incorporate in all my reviews of Christopher Moore books, my favorite chapter title…. drum roll please….

Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch…..

Five stars, and I must say Lust Lizard may be my favorite of the bunch so far (aside from Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal). I advise you once again to buy them all though. I’ve yet to be disappointed with any of his work.

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