There are people in this world with way too much time on their hands. These same people often pass the day finding new ways to make themselves annoying or even obnoxious to the rest of us. They especially like to make themselves appear more important than us by trying to tell us what’s good for us, and what’s right and what’s wrong.
They wake up one morning and are struck with an idea that deep down any normal human being would find ridiculous, but to them it sounds great. These are the people in charge of “political correctness”, a term which, when translated into English, means “being a pain in the rectum”. These are the people who are uncomfortable with something, and because of that, try to make sure everyone else in the world is uncomfortable with their being uncomfortable with it until things get changed.
This is why you might live in a section of town where you can’t have a TV satellite dish, or they won’t let you paint your house yellow, or if your car has a few dents, they try to have it condemned and towed away. In the vein of “political correctness”, we should segregate these self-styled champions of the people by their scientific name, which is “anus maximus legalitis”. In California and a number of other states, these ridiculous examples of humanity are asking that we reconsider the names of school mascots.
What is a “school mascot”? It’s a symbol for a school and/or its sports teams, a source of pride and unity for them. Schools choose a mascot because to them it denotes the tenacity or spirit that the team tries to project. Because of that, they choose names of colorful animals, such as Blue Jays, or something that is fierce, like Sharks. Many schools also pick names that refer to Native Americans, and this is what has come under fire again lately.
Some ignutz who’s trying to pull his head out of his anus has decided that using such names as “Braves”, “Chiefs”, or “Apaches” is derogatory and insulting to Native Americans, and is winning converts, especially among the more weak-minded Indians who are desperately trying to gain recognition of any kind. Remember when I talk about this that I am a Mohawk Chief and while, unlike these yo-yos who are doing this and claim to represent all Native Americans, I won’t claim that my views are universal, but I AM speaking from the Indian side of the fence while they are not.
I, and many other Natives, don’t think that using Native American names for school mascots is derogatory or disrespectful. In fact, anything that brings more Native culture to the forefront is OK by me. If a college teams calls itself The Mohawks, I’m damn proud that they would choose my people to be the symbol of their team. Some people, Indians included, are never satisfied. When they are ignored, they complain that no one cares for them. When they get recognition in the form of a team mascot, they say it belittles them. Get a freaking life, OK?
Where is all this going to lead? Who else are we insulting out there that we didn’t know we were doing? What else will we have to change because of these super-sensitive idiots? We just may have to change the names of certain cars, because let’s face it, American cars still aren’t the best there is, and to have a car named after Chief Pontiac must have him rolling in his grave. How about Indian motorcycles? You straddle it and ride it. Now, that’s GOT to be derogatory! How about our Apache helicopters? That’s a weapon of destruction, so doesn’t it indicate that Apaches are destructive?
In my home town of Anaheim, California, we have a baseball team called the Angels, a name that must insinuate we are getting extra help from heaven. Isn’t that unfair to the other teams? A cardinal is a beautiful red bird, but it’s also a Catholic religious figure. With all that’s going on in the Catholic Church today, would we want a team whose name might be linked to pedophilia? Does that sound far-fetched?
It won’t take much to cross that line, ridiculous as it sounds. Bills to ban Native and culture-specific mascot names are in a number of state legislatures right now and could be voted on soon. Make a note that if they pass, it means a review board will have the authority to ban any mascot name that someone finds offensive. If we don’t wake up and squash these ludicrous pieces of legislation, we just may be going to the ball park next year to watch the St. Louis Tulips take on the Minnesota Napkins. Think about it and tell your congressman that we need to concentrate on important issues, not drivel like this.