10 Worst Songs of the last 10 Years
Every once in a while, a song comes around so absolutely awful your ears begin to bleed, then, to make matters worse, it gets stuck in your head. Here are the ten most vile, disgusting, ridiculously bad songs put out in the last decade or so on mainstream radio.
10. Avril Lavigne – Sk8er Boi
Any time a song title is in leetspeak, you know it’s not going to be a fantastic piece of art, but Lavigne made one of the most headache inducing pop punk songs this side of Blink 182, and the lyrics sound like they were written by a 3rd grader who recently got into her mother’s hard liquor cabinet.
9.Creed – With Arms Wide Open
When these pretentious rockers wrote an ode to their singer’s son, I don’t think they’d anticipated that he’d sing it like a castrated mule. Want to do a Creed impression? Put your tounge as far back into your mouth as possible, let a fan blow your shirt back, and pretend you’re a Christian but get abusively drunk as much as possible. This is a great impression to show the friends.
8. Keith Urban – Making Memories of Us
If you can write a lyric cornier than “I want to honor your mother/And I want to learn from your paw” then please, by all means, move to Nashville. Apparently, they buy stuff like that up.
7. Tool – Schism
Or as it’s known on college radio, buh buh buh BAH, BAH! Buh buh buh BAH! BAH! BEH! The riff from Schism would’ve been pretty cool if Tool didn’t repeat it about a thousand times in the song. It doesn’t help that Maynard repeats the line I KNOW! THE PIECES FIT! with the riff until I hit my head into the radio until it breaks.
6.Hoobastank – The Reason
Just when you thought the power ballad was dead, Hoobastank resurrected it in the worst possible way. It wins the award for lyrical obviousness; guess what the reason is? Did you guess it? Huh, did you? The reason is you. Get it? That means that Hoobastank likes you. Gross.
5. Fergie – London Bridge
There was a concert a few years back in which Fergie, then of Black Eyed Peas fame, peed her pants. This was because she saw into the future and realized that she would be able to make crap like London Bridge and people would actually pay money for it.
4.Weezer – We’re All On Drugs
Man, Weezer really used to be good-really, they did. Then they stole the chorus from the Diarrhea song you used to sing as a kid to talk about how much drugs suck. How un-rock and roll is that? Rivers Cuomo must have stood too close to Morrisey, because he’s now a pretentious wimp where he was a power pop god. For shame, Weezer!
3.Limp Bizkit – Every Song They Ever Performed
It’s really hard to think of a specific Limp Bizkit song that sucks worse than all of the rest. Maybe their awful theme for Mission Impossible, which actually made the Mission Impossible song sound bad. Maybe it was Rollin’, which was ridiculous enough that for a while, I was convinced that they were doing a parody of their own music. Turns out, not so much; their music actually is the joke.
2.Fallout Boy – Sugar, We’re Going Down
You know what my favorite part of this song is? The part where you can’t tell what the words are because the singer (who looks like Gary Busey with down syndrome) is slurring his speech like Ted Kennedy on weekend. Truly one of the worst songs ever created; this is like an funeral march for real punk music and it’s saccharine enough to give field mice cancer.
1. Gwen Stefani – Hollaback Girl
Is it possible for lyrics to be so bad that they subtract intelligence from society? I ask because if you look back, America started really going South when this awful song came out. By the time she starts dissecting the contents of her feces (MY SHH IS BANANAS!), most people’s brains had begun rotting and falling out of their ears. Its beat isn’t inventive, the singing can hardly be called that, and I’ve seen better lyrics on the side of bathroom stalls. Way to go, Gwen. You’ve made the worst song I can possibly imagine.
I’m sure you’re working on a follow up, though.