Thinking back to all of the times and moments that I have shared with my father, I can’t help but bring all of those experiences to the forefront of my memory when pondering about the little bundle of joy that I will be connected with in June 2007.
The very first thought that pops into my mind when thinking about becoming a father is scary. A very scared and intimidating feeling comes over me because not only am I not sure that I am ready for this huge task, but something also tells me that even though I might or might not be ready, ready or not, here this baby comes! But combined with that scared and intimidated feeling is joy because I’m excited and can’t wait to see my little newborn boy or girl.
My own father, I’m sure, has experienced all of these thoughts and emotions so long ago when waiting for me to enter into the world and I can’t help but wonder how he got through it.
When I finally do reach the stage of fatherhood where I can interact with my little boy or girl outside of their mother’s womb, joy and excitement will come over me as with any newborn baby’s parents. But there are definitely some things that I will do differently with my child that my father has chosen, for some reason or another, not to do with me or any of my siblings.
The first thing that I would like to start doing is to read my small child bedtime stories. As far back as I can remember I do not recall either my mother or my father reading me stories before bed. Movies and television shows so often depict children hopping into bed to hear their last story of the evening. That is something that I would like to partake in with my precious child because not only is it a very powerful and strong bonding moment with him or her but it also sends them a message. The message is that a father should always be there for his kids and make time for them without any excuses!
A second major issue that I would like to take up with my children is the issue of drugs, sex, and alcohol. It is so saddening to see young people today participating in these actions that are not only unnecessary, but can lead to strains on relationships and even death if not too careful. Unfortunately, my father has never discussed why or why not to use illegal drugs, why or why not to abuse alcohol, or why or why not to engage in pre-marital sex. Fortunately, however, I do have common sense and have been able to resist the forces of peer pressure and of others in society who seem to advocate this kind of behavior. However, my siblings have not been so fortunate, and so they pay the price.
A third concept and ideal that I would like to share with my children is my religion. I would also like to talk to them about God on a daily basis and make sure that they know that He is there for them through any adverse circumstance or detrimental situation in their life. However, mentioning this issue does not mean that my father has never shared his religion with me. On the contrary, he has taken me to church every Sunday since I was little as a good Christian should and I have been taught (through classes and church) what my faith believes. As a father, however, I would like to do something a little more for my child than just sitting them down in church and in school. I would like to actually show them the power of Jesus Christ, how he can be your best friend in the whole world, and how he will help you in the most terrible of circumstances. I want to show them how the power of prayer will give you strength in your time of need and how you need it every single day of your life! My wish for my children is that they experience the same power of God that I do and that they call upon Him on a regular, daily basis!
I love my own father very much and I have no doubt in my mind that he has done a lot for me. However, thinking about fathering my children has lead me to examine my own father’s interactions with me and my siblings, letting me be aware of some of the mistakes that he has made along the way. It is said that we tend to exhibit the behaviors of our parents when it comes to the issue of parenting. I do not want that to happen with me as far as the role that my own father has played, especially in the teen years, to me and my younger siblings. On the other hand, I would like to portray a loving, caring, easily approachable father figure, so much that my kids will come to me with any problem that they have! Oh, it is certain that mistakes can be made along the way when raising my children, and they definitely will be made! But realizing how I want my relationship with my child and future children to be will make my resolve all that much more determinant to give them a strong and steady father figure throughout their life!