Valentine’s Day is coming soon. The other day, I was thinking, “What would be the most wonderful thing that Marc could do for me this Valentine’s Day?” Extra money has been hard to come by these days, so diamonds and other fancy things are not really possible. However, as I really think about it, even if we had a lot of money, diamonds would not mean as much to me as something else… time.
Yes, time would be the best gift of all this Valentine’s Day. It’s not that I am too busy; it’s that my time is not my own. Many wives feel this way. It seems like every bit of time in my day belongs to someone else. Either I am cooking dinner for my husband, or taking care of my son, or running an errand for my mom. While these are things I enjoy, sometimes I miss the days where my life allowed me more time for me.
It doesn’t even have to be time for just me. Time for me and my husband to just be a couple together, like when we were dating, that would be really nice too.
HOW TO GIVE TIME
Obviously, time is not as easy a Valentine’s Day gift to give as a box of chocolates. It takes a bit more thought, and a bit more work, but it will definitely be worth the joy it brings to your wife. To help you along, here are some suggestions:
A “Day Off” Certificate
On Valentine’s Day, give your wife a nice card, and inside the card include a homemade certificate good for a day off from everything. You might want to look at her calendar and work schedule and see when a good day would be, so that you can actually choose the day for her. If it is up to her to decide when to use it, she may feel too guilty or too busy to actually choose a day and take it.
On the back of the certificate, explain the terms of the day off. She will be allowed to choose anything that she wants to do, except chores of any kind. She can plan an outing with her friends. She can spend a day at the spa. She can go to the mall and shop all day. Anything she wants to do is fine. That day, she is to give you a list of things that she would normally have accomplished that day, and you will do your best to complete everything on the list. You will take care of the kids (or arrange for childcare). It is her day to feel like a woman, not just a wife and mother.
A Romantic Weekend Together
If you don’t normally get a lot of time to spend with each other going on dates or doing romantic things as a couple, then this may be a great way to give time as a Valentine’s Day gift. To truly make it a gift, you must do the work. Don’t tell your wife that you want to go away for Valentine’s Day and then let her do the planning. Just make sure she has a weekend free (close to Valentine’s Day, if possible), and then make sure she sets it aside. Plan for childcare for the weekend, choose where you are going, and then make all of the reservations and arrangements.
When choosing a place, make sure that it is something that you will both enjoy. Even if she loves going to the opera, don’t plan it if you hate it. She won’t enjoy herself if she knows that you are not having a good time. Also try to plan something that will give you a lot of time alone together. Don’t plan something that you have always wanted to do, unless you know for sure your wife has the same dream. If gambling is more your thing than hers, don’t plan a trip to Las Vegas.
A Permanent Chore Commitment
If you don’t have a whole weekend or even a whole day to give as a gift of time, then consider making a long-term commitment that will consistently give her more time. Take a look at the list of things that your wife does each week (or every day), and ask yourself which one you could reasonably commit to take on. If it seems like your wife spends a lot of time doing the dishes, then you could make a commitment to take that on as your personal responsibility from now on. Perhaps your wife spends hours each week vacuuming, or cleaning the bathroom, or doing laundry. If one of these chores is something you could make time for in your schedule, it would give your wife a little bit more time for herself each week.