Everyone has different opinions when it comes to movies, music, books and television and that’s ok. Unfortunately I seem to have been cursed with a vastly different opinion than most people. I don’t mind being different, in fact I actually like having a different opinion. The problem with having an opinion that isn’t very common is that it gets really frustrating hearing people continuously rave about movies that I didn’t think were very good. In many cases the movies that I think are overrated are actually considered “classics” and I just don’t get it. Here are some of the classics that I think are highly overrated.
Casablanca – Where to begin. I know I’m going to get hate mail for this but Humphrey Bogart is not that good in this film. It’s the only film I’ve seen him in so maybe he’s better in other movies but I’m not impressed with my first viewing of Bogart. All the things in Casablanca that are supposed to be classic just didn’t work for me. First of all there is the classic line “here’s looking at you kid.” I used to think it was a classic line but it’s not to me anymore. Bogart says “here’s looking at you kid” approximately 32, 143 times in this movie. Classic lines are not repeated over and over again in a movie. It loses all meaning when you say it over and over again. Arnold Schwarzenegger didn’t say “I’ll be back” every time he left a room, Rhett Butler didn’t say “frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn” every time Scarlett O’Hara spoke, and Tom Cruise didn’t yell “show me the money” for 139 minutes.
Then there is that freaking song! When I first heard “As Time Goes By” I thought to myself, “this is a nice tune, I should download it.” Later in the movie when I heard it for the 348th time I wanted jab a pen in my ear to make it stop. Who put Sam on loop? Can he play any other songs? Cause if he can only play one song they need a new pianist. Even I can play Mary Had a Little Lamb, Chopsticks, and the Batman theme song. Heck, Tom Hanks can play those songs with his feet. Speaking of Sam, we all know by now that the “classic” line “Play it Again, Sam” is never actually said in the movie. So throw out another classic thing about Casablanca because it can’t be classic if it never happened.
Goodfellas – I never understood the love for Goodfellas. Goodfellas consists of a bunch of crooks going around cussing and acting like they are ten times cooler than they actually are. It reminded me of high school all over again. “Oh look at me I said the “f” word, I’m so cool.” “Ooo, I broke the rules, I’m like the toughest person ever.” Cussing like every other word is a total cop out too. Sure anybody can look bad when you’re cussing every other word, how can you not. When you can be a good bad guy without cussing is when you’re actually a good actor. I’m sure some people will say “well, they’re mobsters; they have to cuss every other word!” Not true. Ever since the Departed came out it’s been compared to Goodfellas and yet they don’t cuss every other word in the Departed and they are still viable mobsters. There isn’t swearing in the Godfather and that’s a pretty popular mob movie. Goodfellas is just a 145 minutes of garbage.
Bonnie and Clyde – I always used to love Bonnie and Clyde, mainly because I had never seen the movie. I just knew the premise; a man and a woman hook up and together become notorious bank robbers. It’s a romantic movie and a heist movie all rolled into one. I always thought that was a pretty cool concept. Then I saw the movie and it ruined my image of Bonnie and Clyde. I didn’t like Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway at all. You have two of the top actors of their time and they’re running around with bad southern accents, bumbling around and acting like three year olds most of the time. I just didn’t think either one of them was believable in the role. I also can’t believe that these two never got caught. They were idiots, immature idiots. I imagine that the real Bonnie and Clyde were probably really smart and cunning, not dumb and immature. If you want to see a good movie about a pair that are bank robbers then skip Bonnie and Clyde and watch Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Butch and Sundance never make out but they make a much better couple.
Fargo – I wish I could sit here and explain to you in detail why I hated Fargo so much but the truth is I hated it so much I don’t even remember anything about it, I’ve completely tossed it from my memory. Everyone raves about it like it’s an incredible movie but all I remember is sitting in front of my television for 98 minutes never feeling a single thing or having a single thought. It was like my appendix, it’s there, but it doesn’t really do anything. I’d rather see a really bad movie that makes me furious I wasted money than watch a movie that is so dull a bland that I honestly can’t remember anything other than William H. Macy plays someone who is pathetic. But that doesn’t really say anything because when does William H. Macy not play someone who is pathetic?
Chicago – When Dreamgirls came out this past year many people said it wasn’t as good as Chicago. That immediately convinced me to not go and see it because Chicago was horrible. I know that musicals focus on the music, hence the name “musicals”, but there should at least be a coherent and compelling story in between songs. During Chicago nothing was happening or at least nothing good. Any time the music stopped I was bored to sleep, and then when the next song started it woke me up and it took me a minute or two to get readjusted. By then the song was over and I was bored to sleep by the scenes again. Also Renee Zellweger is an extremely overrated actress and her and Richard Gere sing and dance about as good as Jessica Simpson acts (or sings and dances for that matter).
Wizard of Oz – What is the deal with this movie? Whenever this movie comes on it’s like somebody stole my remote control and increased the color, contrast, and brightness up to 100. It’s so incredibly bright, it’s blinding. I’ve got no problem with bright, happy movies but this is one of those movies that are so bright and happy that it makes you want to puke. It’s like one of those messed up children’s television shows in the 70s where the creators were most definitely on drugs. The original Wizard of Oz is so bad that I’d take the sequel Return to Oz any day. It’s darker and gloomier, that’s how it should be when you go to another land that has monsters and witches and things.
Yankee Doodle Dandy – A few months ago I decided I should venture into the world of musicals and rent some of the “classics”. I wondered why in the world nobody told me about Moulin Rouge, West Side Story and Swing Time sooner. Then I got to Yankee Doodle Dandy and wondered why people told me to see this movie at all. Yankee Doodle Dandy is possibly the most boring movie I’ve ever seen. That’s especially bad for a musical because with all the musical numbers and dancing you would think that at some point you’d at least be tempted to tap your foot. James Cagney acting is not very inspiring and his singing is not very good. There are also no likable characters in the entire movie.
Terminator 2 – Terminator 2 isn’t a classic in the sense that it is critically acclaimed but it is considered to be a very good action movie by many. I don’t think Terminator 2 is anywhere close to being one of the best action movies, I wouldn’t even say it’s the best Arnold Schwarzenegger film. Predator is infinitely better and the Predator is way cooler than the T-1000. I wouldn’t even rank Terminator 2 above action movies that get bashed by many like Con Air and Armageddon. Arnold Schwarzenegger as we know is a horrible actor but believe it or not Edward Furlong is even worse. He’s also a whiny little brat; he’s like Luke Skywalker only 10 years younger. There is also no reason to like this kid, if the future depends on this kid then I say let the planet die. Easily the best actor in this movie is Robert Patrick. Yeah, that’s right; the guy who doesn’t say a word the whole movie out acts the rest of the cast. Some of the effects in Terminator 2 are cool but what action movie doesn’t have cool effects?