Where I come from, a white elephant gift is an item that has been either: 1) handed down from year to year to some unsuspecting person; 2) a useless item that has been collecting dust or has been hidden in a drawer; and/or 3) a tacky gift that is given with the purpose of the recipient looking at it like a deer into headlights; and 4) a re-gifted item (just don’t give it in the company of the person who gave it to you). So, where do you find these white elephant gifts? You can find them in a variety of places. In fact, once you start looking for them, you may be amazed at how many you find.
Kitchen drawers and cupboards: Everyone seems to have a ‘junk drawer’. Look through this and see if there is something you have never used.
· It could be that chintzy little dull cheese knife with the tree-shaped cutting board.
· Or, the painted wooden bowl with a drawing of Santa.
· The hideous-looking oven mitt just crying for usage will make a great white elephant gift.
· How about that container of chocolate coffee flavorings that’s been hanging around for years?
Closets: Have you ever, or will you ever, use that sinfully gaudy picture frame? You know, the one that is supposed to look like a wooden carving painted in gold? Only, it is a poor spray paint job done on a cheaply hammered piece of wood. That makes a great white elephant gift. To make it even better, put a picture of Santa and the elves in it.
Thrift store: This place is a field day for white elephant gifts. Take some time to go and browse around. Whenever you see something that either elicits a chuckle or puzzled look, buy it. Someone else will probably feel the same way when they open your gift.
Bookshelf: This is another place that will probably contain some great gift ideas. How about giving the cheap book of jokes to the office worker who never smiles (nor has a sense of humor)? At least you’ll be entertained. Or, give the book about farts to your refined aunt. That’ll be a good one. IF she gets offended, tell her your brother told you to do it. (Guess you were given that book as a white elephant gift, right?)
Here are some other white elephant gift ideas:
· Salt & pepper shakers of various shapes. The tackier the better is the rule.
· Infamous variety of stinky cheeses. These small aluminum-foil wrapped triangles & squares make for great white elephant gifts. Perhaps keep one of the packages for yourself, open it, and thinly spread some of the cheese on the outside of the wrapped gift package. The aroma alone will elicit responses.
· And, in my opinion, the best white elephant gift of all…the infamous
· BILLY BASS Singing “Take me to the River”. This totally useless item is just downright fun. It’s funny just thinking about it. No matter how many times I’ve seen it, I still can’t resist pushing that button and watching those lips move.
White elephant gifts are everywhere. Use your imagination. Have fun and enjoy!!