I write this little piece with tongue in cheek. Truly, I find it amusing, although deplorable, how American men seem to have lost the ability to approach a lady with respect and decorum.
Now, I realize some women dress in a manner that screams “Don’t respect me, I’m dressed like a hooker”, but the majority of us are pretty normal and, I’m sure, like myself, are not putting out a vibe that says I would welcome crude or vulgar requests or comments.
My case in point is that on my MySpace, I have listed I am only there for friends and networking. No where on my page does it say I am using MySpace as a Match.com nor would I ever.
I can tell you that every local or at least in country guy that has ever dropped me a line have all been very sexual up front and I make a point to drop those guys very quickly from my correspondence. I just received a request today from a local San Antonio guy stating that he thought I looked hot and would I be interested in a no strings attached sexual relationship! Wow, no hello? How are you? My name is….? Just, I want sex and would you join me?
Good Lord! I am so disappointed by the lack of ability for men to communicate properly with a lady that it makes me almost want to scream… or cry. It’s sad. I mean, did their mothers raise them to talk like that? You might approach a hooker like that successfully and her only stipulation would be how much she demands to be paid for her time but never, I mean never, should a gentleman approach a lady like that.
I understand that on the internet, you don’t really know who you’re talking to but by that same token, when you meet someone out at a club or park or wherever, you would not walk up to a female you are attracted to and ask her to be your no strings attached sex partner! I think guys fail to realize that the same rules apply on the internet as they do in person.
The flip side to this is that I have made several wonderful friends from European countries who are the most gentlemanly men I have ever had the pleasure to be in contact with. (One , in particular, stands out above the rest). They do not speak out of turn. They are always respectful and when they compliment you, it is with a beauty of words you do not hear from American men. They don’t say stupid things like “What size are your breasts?” or “Wow, I really wanna get with you baby”. Puh-leease!
Guys, pay attention! Women want to know that you are interested in what they have to say, not how fast you can get her into bed. It’s a huge turn-off when your comments go straight to her body parts and not her laugh or her ideas. We can tell when you’re attracted. We see where you eyes go and we don’t usually miss a thing so you don’t need to verbally assault us with your crude interpretation on which body part your interested in. If you want to be a success with a lady, you must treat her as one first. Hint: pull out her chair for her; open doors for her; when she rises from a chair, always offer your hand to help (this will knock her socks off); ask what she wants to order for dinner and then when the waiter/waitress arrives, order for her. Pretend you mother is sitting next to you and is listening to every word you say. That ought to put a stop to disrespectful comments quick!
Conversation and courtship are art forms and every man and every woman needs to learn them. Guys, women never want to be treated like a whore. Gals, demand respect for your selves by respecting yourself first. Trust me when I say first impressions are the be all and end all of a first meeting. They mean everything. So don’t blow it by sticking your foot in your mouth. No one wants to kiss a mouth with a foot in it!