I was recently on a trip to South Carolina and on an excruciatingly long hold over, something very alarming transpired. While I buzzed about the terminal and stared down the departure screen overhead, a stranger who was on the same flight and I chatted about the delay; she surmised that they were just waiting for the very last person who worked at the US Airways portion of the airport to leave. Whatever the reason for the hold over was, that wasn’t even the really worrying development.
LaGuardia Airport in not a new construct; with a history dating back almost 70 years on the borders of Flushing Bay and Bowery Bay and only 12 feet above sea level, it’s no wonder that the airport has many different life forms living there. However this problem at the US Airways terminal is bordering on terminal.
The building I live in is in Manhattan and is also located in a severely compromised spot near the mouth of the Lincoln Tunnel. So when I discovered that there were roaches living in my walls last year, once the initial shock wore off, I realized that of course it only made sense. Just like the first upright human beings, these creatures emerged from the depths of the Hudson and crawled out; finding homes on the mainland of Manhattan; dreaming of a better life for them and their families.
I can just picture them, escaping the harrowing life which lay behind them in Hoboken or Weehawken; marching in lockstep, chanting, “These vagabond shoes are longing to stray; and make a brand new start of it, New York, New York;” all the way to the top floor of my building, just on the leeward side of the tunnel proper, where they went right to it, of starting a family and getting situated. Trust me when I tell you that these roaches which live in my walls are not starving; they are certainly second or third generation if you catch my drift.
But the US Airways terminal in LaGuardia airport has only been open since 1992! My building is much, much older than that! Some of the residents have lived below me since before 1992! So when I saw what I saw at US Airways, it was alarming to say the least.
The roaches in my building are not small; they’re maybe between one and three inches – some are quicker than others (I think they’ve been dabbling into my coffee!) but for the most part they’re larger than average. The ones I found in US Airways – phew! I’m talking like at least three to four inches; some maybe even bigger than that. It wasn’t just the size which was so alarming; it was also the boldness.
The roaches in my building live in the walls and come out when I’m not looking. That’s got to be it because we’ve opened up a 24 hour type establishment in our apartment where the sun never goes down. The UV lamps we installed around the walls used to bother my fiancée when she tried to sleep but now they’ve just placated her into a mind numbing buzz. She’s fine with it. Plus we rent out the space by the hour; you have to put up with me, as I never leave, but most of our travelers have respectable aims. You can look us up online at www.roachmotelinmanhattan.com. Besides, I stopped sleeping altogether. I remain on vigil as I have since the first invasion; so they must have moved on to another spot or at least gotten me when I’m watching baseball.
But these roaches at US Airways terminal; a terminal that’s less than 15 years old; they’re brazen beyond belief. While I was waiting for my takeoff, I set my bag down. However, when the roaches wanted to get through, they just pushed my travel bag right to one side and soldiered past. When I finally did take respite on the seats, they took up more than their half of the seat next to me – and you know how annoying that can be! When I went to a terminal employee to complain they just rolled their eyes and told me to grow up!
So I caution those in upper management from the US Airways terminal in LaGuardia Airport; before they start snatching babies and taking women hostage; you have got to do something about these roaches at your terminal! I understand that you’re at the far end of a distant hallway but mark my words: when the first ransom note comes across your desk and it’s etched in the blood of a human boy, don’t say I didn’t warn you about these pests!