Growing up in the 1980s and 1990s, I was always told to never meet a potential mate in a bar. Those relationships often lead to nothing but a one-night stand. When my boyfriend told me that his parents had indeed met in a bar and that they’ve been married for close to 30 years, I truly didn’t believe him. After getting to know his parents well in the last couple of years (they live less than a mile from us), I’ve come to realize that they do have a normal, functioning relationship. Despite what I’ve been told my entire life, you can truly meet your future spouse in a bar; just don’t go out of your way to do it.
Now that that has been cleared up, here are a few things to keep in mind. First and foremost, going to a bar to meet someone is never a good idea. This may sound like a cliché, but it is a very idea to be friends first. I did it, my cousins did it, and my sister did it. In fact, I’m having a hard time coming up with examples in which happy couples weren’t friends first. Normally, it even takes convincing before friends see something else in each other and romance blossoms. It’s often true that you find love when you least expect it.
When you keep those things in mind, it is easy to see why going to a bar in order to “hook up” is such a rotten idea. You are already setting your expectations too high and are trying way too hard. It is much better to simply go out to a bar with your friends for a drink or two in order to relax and have a good time. Under those conditions, you might just realize that there is more to your friendship than meets the eye, or you might meet someone else who soon becomes a good friend. Just be sure that it isn’t the alcohol taking over. There have been all too many lapses in judgment made due to over indulgence.
When you think about it, under the circumstances described above, it is easy to see how someone truly could meet their spouse at a bar. It could have been a convoluted story of friends knowing friends, or simply a special night out with a friend that leads to some important realizations. Whatever it is, I highly doubt that my boyfriends parents, or anyone else who met his or her spouse in a bar for that matter, went to a bar with the expectation that he or she was going to meet anyone that particular night.
If people can meet their prospective spouses in a bar, than people can meet just about anywhere. That, I suppose, is what makes love so special. You never know when it is going to hit you and you never know exactly where it is going to lead. All you need to do is live your life the way you want to live it; the rest will just happen.
